Love . Trust . Appreciate .

This is my new plant for my office desk; Guzmania. My 3rd plant in the office. Hope it doesn’t dies that easily. Previous 2 plants are sort of small plants and the first plant is which I don’t even know the name. 2 nd plant is money plant which was plucked at the roadside of Guilin. It was grown in the soil and I plucked it to plant in the water and the roots becomes black. Guess I have drown the money plant. October was the month which I realised I am growing fat again. Been so lazy to go jogging and keep eating titbits after dinner. Eating so much during weekend and now im back to size 12. My target for the year to lose weight until 55kg is hard to achieve and now I left 1.5 months to go. Now I think im still stuck at 65kg and its been a long time since I weigh and the weighing machine battery has gone flat. Time to go back to track and so many events to go in Jan 2013. Got to look good and wear nice clothes. I CAN DO IT AND I HAVE TO! I have 4 resolutions for ...

Been trying to make this lao ban dou hua and everytime is a failure. Even this time is a total failure. Too watery and is like drink 豆花水. i have no talent in making food and i need more practice. Recipe from  http://dejiki.com/2012/05/laoban-recipe/

After i watch the video of Rachel Allen, its so easy to do this. Recipe taken from  http://uktv.co.uk/food/recipe/aid/648098 

more information about morning glory One of the September flower is Morning Glory. Many things happened in September. First i bought a watch from Nooka. http://www.nooka.com/ Though its hard to tell the time initial but gradually its the same like a normal watch. Its special and many people are not wearing (at least in my circle of friends). I have a white one and it gets dirty easily but luckily im not those nit-picking type of person. 2nd, my friend Widia has come to Singapore for a minor surgery and these few days meet up with her for dinner. Im getting fat! Every dinner is like a feast. 1st day dinner at Imperial Treasure and still have alot of leftovers. 6 person for $500+ and is a treat by Widia. She is my only rich friend who goes shopping everytime and spend money with no limits. She can spend $500 in a shop within 5mins. Take business class to holiday and have 4 maids in her house. Next time i want to go over her place and live like queen too woohoo....

My so called assistance in work who has indirectly make me downgrade my title to be the same as her is sometimes so fake. Everyone knows she is slow and taking things too easy. I expect her to be slow but now is almost half a year and many things she still asking me again and again. I dont have so much time to teach her over and over again. Not that i dont have patience and selfish not to teach her everything. I have teach her everything. Let her try all the things but she is only good at the beginning where she is curious how it works and after that she forgets all. Dont read the notes she wrote and forget the steps of each procedure. I dont know why i have so much to complain about her. Now i try to pass most of the things to her so that i dont hold responsible to much of it and can concentrate on the new system. But then i still have to check what she is doing. And i hate follow up and checking.

The arrival of Reyner Chua to our family. During our parents generation, we have more girls than boys and now, we have more boys than girls. The only girl now is from da jie, xue li and zhenny. August we have the Gadroy family here with us and Lente family is bringing them out almost everyday. Sight seeing, eating and take mrt round the island. We have sold our car and we also take the mrt from north to east, north to west, north to everywhere with MRT. Its so convenient now with the circle line and north east line. One of the incident happen while we were going out of the MRT door. Never know it can happen to someone among us and never know it can happen like this. While we were walking out of the MRT door, Chelsie drop Zhenny hp in the gap between the platform and train. Drop down on the rail way track. Lucky we have an efficient lost and found system in Singapore. We inform the counter which platform we dropped and what we have dropped. They will go pick up after the last...

Lilies from baby wee. He bought and had it sent to my office and all the manager is asking who sent it and why. It was not birthday, not anniversary but apologies.

Zhenny has come back since July and is here for 2 months. Next week she will be leaving and hope she will be back again soon and stay for good. Come back and give birth and stay with us. woohooo.... This time, Zhenny has come back first and then JB came later and his cousins has came to Singapore too. First they went to learn diving together with Mr. & Mrs. Park and was in Singapore for 2 weeks. They all have a fun time during the openwater course and JB taking advance course. The cousins does not understand English and we dont speak French too. The only communication tools is Google translator in our hp and we have no problem communicating with all the laughter and fun. The last photo before Mr. & Mrs Park returns to hometown. Finally with everyone in the photo.

My workload is suppose to decrease when we had extra pair of hand in my department but I still have to check what she do and make sure everything is done properly. She show eagerness to learn new things but never remember what she learns. Always forget this and that and too blur for everything. Everyone know she is slow and that's why the Admin department give her to us. I tried to teach her all the things I do but she is picking up slow. I have no time to slowly teach her and I don't want to show other people I'm like queen. To work under woman is tough. I hope she can Buck up or else, either she leave or is me.

1st half year of 2012 just went thru creating all the bad memories which i have tried not to think too much of it. Felt like hell of life when the bitch has come into our life and now wasn't letting us have a happy life. Stalking and trying to make me angry over things which she is doing. I not getting angry over what she is doing and i understand why she is doing all these. She don't have a happy family like I have and her jealousy and imbalance has made her doing things to make me lose my temper making me looks like the angry wife over here where i will throw my temper on my husband so that he can get comfort from her. I'm not interested in fighting with her and all i want is a simple life. Simple life doesn't mean boring life. If she wants some exciting life from our life, she is making a big mistake. It means she is such a failure in her life. July was not worst month of the year but many things happened. 1st it was my face which has become suddenly alle...

I have a ang moh colleague whom was a Captain in one of our vessels. He has came to our office as training officer to teach the Captain onboard regarding our procedures. He is cute with hair like Leonardo Dicaprio in the “Romeo & Juliet” movie. Handsome!!! Last year I have went onboard and saw him the first time and he remembers me till now when he came to office and told me I went to his vessel last year. I still remember a cute Captain but cant remember it was him. The good thing in Marine line is there are not many ladies going onboard and when there is one lady, all the attention from the men goes to her. Not that I want attention but its hard to avoid when all man are onboard. So usually I just stay at the bridge where not many mans will go up unless the top officer. I like going sometimes cos its really boring in office and sick and tired of the politics.

Last Friday, before I take leave to see doc in the afternoon, I have instructed RT to put up the certificates in the conference room by Company name. Yesterday she told me that its not put together and one of them are right infront which is far apart from others. Simple things also cannot handle properly. Hanging up the frames needs me to get upset. Am I really so kind and soft in their eyes? Everything I have to do myself then what for an assistant is needed in this department?

My office seems to be big in the sense of having other offices in other countries. BUT what is the use of being big without a proper standard of procedure. Doing things as they like, giving out their own rules and us, is just a small prawn in their game. One office divide into 2, 3, 4 groups and ah neh fighting each other whom are top management fighting for power of authority. Am I still going to be their prawn in their game? When will I be kick out like those who already been kicked on the day? Finding excuses to terminate one person is just so easy here.

For the month of June, we have some quality time for the 3 of us. Going to picnic and Universal Studio as a family makes bonding easier.  Last time, we hardly have time to go out as a family as Wee is working shift and during weekend, only me and Grant to spend time together. He hardly wants to go out with us as he rather go out with his friends. But now, at least he is spending more time with us as a family and i hope this time is not 三分钟热度。 It's not easy for us to go out together as and when we like. Our time for work makes us drift apart easily and thats the problem we have previously. Even though now we still not able to see each other like normal couple with normal working hours, we still will get sometime together. For jogging, picnic, playing basketball, to theme park...

Yesterday we Ex-AES knights received a sad news from our former teacher. The ex-principle of AES; Mr Marcell Lee; has a stroke and is in ICU. Teachers are asking us to write letters to him and teachers will read out to him as a motivation for him to get well. I have left school on 1999 and its been 13 years since I saw him. All I could remember him was kind to me, as I am not a bad student in school and that’s why I was invite to his office so frequent as others. The impression he gave me was kind, serious, strict and hardly a joker. Of course as a principle, there’s a certain image to be carry out to students. You cant get too close to students but not to the extent of being a stranger to us. We aint that close but still we have been seeing each other during my last few years in School. Seeing him every day in the morning assembly and hearing all the talks though I cant really remember what he had said all those years but it’s a routine. He always bring a smile whenever he walks...

When I needed a extra assistant to our team last year, none came. This year, due to my unhappy incident in family, i have took many leaves, MC which might have made me lose my creditability in work as a girl who are always in office and working hard at work. I was working real hard at work last year when no one helps me and i was alone setting up many projects which have caused me to neglect my family and which in turns makes me almost lose my husband to a bitch. Just becos i am working too hard at work. Whats the point when one works too hard and doesn't get the rewards equivalent to the hard work i have. This year, they get an assistance for our department and it was not a fresh hired staff. Someone who was transferred from Admin department and initially, they didnt even let us choose who we wanted. HR think we are rubbish and could throw us any person they dont want. The person we wanted, they hold on so tight that even the management are coming in...

We have our first picnic inside a tent at Changi beach. Though it wasn’t that perfect because of the loud sound of the plane flying in to Changi Airport behind the beach but we 3 really enjoy each companion. Enjoying the set up of tent and eating all the food which was bought last min at NTUC including the in king of fruits; Durian. Yummy! We have our quality time together and all the relax and fun moment. We were excited cos its our first time setting up the tent ever since we bought it few years ago. After picnic, went for a movie and it is also our first time bringing Grant to movie. He is so excited to watch Ironman but fall asleep half way thru. He has really enjoy our companion and I also enjoy my big and little baby companion. After our 1 st time, there’s going to be many outing together.

I have 2 best kakis birthday in May and they are June and tortoise. Their birthday are followed closely. 9th for June and 10th for tortoise. They are my secondary school friends and though we have graduated for more than a decade but we still try to meet up every few months. I'm glad we still in touch with each other. Things are getting better at home and we have more quality time together as a family. Though we can never have the pure trust like before but at least we both know that quality time is important to build up this family. Not only quality time between we 3 but also together with our own family and relatives. Hope this stay for long and no more crap and shit.

Feeling really bored at work. All the task has finish and I am just idling. What can I do now? Every day is busy with acting and acting busy. Some more I’m seated outside all the Manager rooms and whenever they walked out they can see what I am doing. This really sucks!

Last night I had a super sinful after dinner munch. I ate roasted meat noodle for dinner and went to NTUC bough potato chips and cheesy salsa dip. Cant resist the though of eating the cheesy dip, I open the chips and dip the sinful cheesy salsa. Damn fattening. I really got to go exercise soon.

Last night during the searching of tibits in NTUC, I was taking the big packet of potato chips and Grant say in a warning tone: "if you take the potato chips I will put back my chocolate". That's what I always said to him when he wants to buy the little toys in NTUC. Everytime he has took chocolate or milk and after that went to take toys; I will tell him if he takes the toys I will put back his chocolate and milk. Kids are so good at talking back now.

Almost half a month of May and here I am blogging about April. April is a reconcile month which requires a lot of time and energy to handle the relationship. Many feelings and phobia and even silly questions arise. No one knows what will happen in future. To cherish each other like there's no tomorrow for oneself. Been telling myself that forgiveness is not by talking but showing it out is the right way. Who doesn't err in this world. Living in hell for the past months has made me realize that nothing is important anymore. No one will die with or without you. 所有的事，顺其自然。

Coming to 3 years in this company and this is my 3 rd time I have changed my place. And this time is the worst place of all. Directly in front of the Managers room. When they walk out, they can see what I am doing and worse still, when they are discussing or arguing loud, I could hear so clearly. Spoilt my mood to work and all the noise is disturbing me.   I hate being spy and this place though is abit bigger than the previous one but there is no privacy. Even though with high partition, I still felt being watched. Not only I am moving but other departments are being shifted too. I am not being racists but when more ah neh is coming; life is not getting any better. We are always underneath them and they don't really like us too. I used to click along with them but as time goes by, they are just taking us for granted and sometimes when we helped them, they take it that this is our job and naturally, they will push everything to us. They get a lot higher pay than us but th...

One of my resolutions for 2012 is to lose weight till 55kg. I have been losing weight since Jan and till now, i have lost 9kg.  From 73kg till now 64kg. I still got 9kg more to go.  Thanks to the incident that I have lost weight and i have change my style which can make me more confident. Putting on light make up to work also makes me looks more better and going for facial once a month makes my face cleaner.  I have to start changing my life style and looks. Yes, my previous looks sucks and i hate it too. Too old and looks haggard.  Making myself happy is more happy and previously too many restrictions that has change my lifestyle has changed my life which makes me live like old woman. Im going to live like I always 25.

It's my birthday month and shouldn't I be the happiest during March? Many things are left unasked and sometimes it's best not to know too much details. Though we have reconcile but my shattered heart is not going to get well anymore. gonna take the whole life time to pick up the pieces and mend it back with patience. No man is that good enough to slowly pick up and mend it back with love and concern. all these while I have been living in hell and now I'm only a step from hell. It's still a long long way to heaven. Maybe I can't make it to heaven.

I cannot keep asking why all these is happening to me. I have ask what I want to do for my future and what I can do. All these while, the song that keeps me going is "Stronger" by Kelly Clarkson. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxQAwmjellI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Life is never simple and it takes alot of courage and perseverance to live on. It's is also not going the way we want. When things doesn't go our way, one have to keep looking for another way to achieve what we want. So many things I want to share but then, it's not easy for me. I need time to recover and replenish alot of things that I have lost all these months. I lost alot of things but then I gain alot too. I've changed. Change to become strong and more confident.

希望这次真的是雨过天晴。

我为什要这样的给他来糟蹋我？如果是我欠他，我希望我还完了。我的心再也承受不了这些折磨。他为什么要这样来伤害我？ 现在对他再好也是多余。和必要做贱自己。一个可以无情到连老婆都不要而要别人老婆的男人，这种人还可以要吗？ 是我当初没看清楚，用了六年的青春才看清。我因该很高兴他放手能让我去找一个跟爱我的人。但是我就是踏不出地第一步。心里还是希望他会回来。 很多人都说"何必能，这种人不要也吧"。我为什么还要留着他？因为他是孩子的爸爸所以一直希望他会回头。 我知道我因该去争取自己的幸福而不是每天为他流泪。一个把我的眼泪当成是无理取闹的人，是不值得我去爱。 心还是会痛。虽然没像当初那么痛，但我还是有感情的。不是说放就放。

I have 4 greet friends whom company me to Penang and help me to relax from the complicated issue at home. Though the matter still arising at home but I need a place to hide awhile. Running doesn't helps to solve the problem but staying at home makes things worse. I dunno when I'm going crazy over the marriage crisis but hope all can end soon to end my misery.

I like my new hairstyle

Isn't February suppose to be the month of love? Why am I out of love before February has come? 2 months before Valentine days.. 这是我的报应吗？ 还是月老忘了我？ 或者是我们的红线早已断了？ 一个人决定坚决的要分，不顾一切的放弃，原因只有一个，外来的干扰。这就能破坏一切。 我也用了六年的青春来看清一个人。原来男人都一样。 虽然接受很难但还是要面对。不能让一个没用的人给打败。我相信月老还是很疼我的。一定会找一个更爱我的人给我。

Feeling lazy on a sunny sunday...

I am moving on

This Summary of the month came early than usual. When people gets a slap on the face, they woke up to face reality immediately. Knowing that all these while they are living day by day without knowing what is wrong with their life even when they felt not happy as day goes by. Something just keep them going thru each day routine and when something hits them, they realise that actually life should be more than just letting days slip by. I was working hard each day and knowing that I am not happy everyday. But I have no idea what is wrong. Early morning prepare mine and grant things and bringing him to sch at 8am before I went to take bus and MRT to work. Reached office and start working non stop till 6pm. Work like a cow and having less communication in workplace. Buried my head in work as workload is becoming more. Leave on dot and rush to fetch Grant from school and yes I'm lucky that I have my in law to prepare dinner for us. After bathing Grant and feeding him need almost an hour ...

Happy Valentine's day. Though i will be alone on that day but i hope those who are alone like me to be happy too. Valentine's can be celebrate with friends and family too. Without love ones, life still needs to go on and have to be positive. If there is love, everyday can be Valentine's day.

祝愿大家： 新年快乐 恭喜发财 身体健康 万事如意 心想事成 龙马精神 出路平安 事事顺利 大家发大材！！！

Shouldn't I be happy today when I received a letter from company? Letter stating that I have a 5% increment and 1 month performance bonus. Well I should have but then its all expected.  I expect to have more increment but then I think I'm worth only 5% in their eyes. Why should I work so hard every day at work and making me and my family tired and getting this little bonus from company. Is what I'm doing at work not worth the price I should have? I guess its time to eat some snake at work rather than putting 100% concentration on work. Its really not worth the time and strength. Last year I used to be happy to get increment and bonus but this year, totally no mood for CNY. Just now I went to temple to thanks the god for the past year blessing and when the aunty talk in hokkien, I couldn't understand must what she said. When she knew I couldn't understand hokkien, she talked in Mandarain and when I heard she ask for blessing for husband and wife, my tears ju...

Time to let go now? To move out of the comfort zone and moving on to another pharse of my life? Totally low morale today.