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Summary of the month - Jan 2012

This Summary of the month came early than usual.

When people gets a slap on the face, they woke up to face reality immediately. Knowing that all these while they are living day by day without knowing what is wrong with their life even when they felt not happy as day goes by. Something just keep them going thru each day routine and when something hits them, they realise that actually life should be more than just letting days slip by.

I was working hard each day and knowing that I am not happy everyday. But I have no idea what is wrong. Early morning prepare mine and grant things and bringing him to sch at 8am before I went to take bus and MRT to work.

Reached office and start working non stop till 6pm. Work like a cow and having less communication in workplace. Buried my head in work as workload is becoming more. Leave on dot and rush to fetch Grant from school and yes I'm lucky that I have my in law to prepare dinner for us. After bathing Grant and feeding him need almost an hour because the TV is on and he cannot concentrate to finish his dinner fast. The feeding time always make me more tired. Waiting for him to finish and keep telling to sit on the chair and eat. Because of distractions from the TV, I am having a harder time at home. Not that I don't want to off but then, it depends who is watching. Bloody hell!

All these become a bad routine and as day goes by, stress level become high at work. Depress when I can't find comfort at home. Not knowing that I am depress and everything just keep within me. All I can see myself everyday is shit. Until I get the slap from him, I know I am living in my own hell. Shutting myself from everyone and not willing to communicate. All I know is when I get our house, I can be more happy. More peace in my life. But then it's all my wishful thinking of getting that house. Getting a house without love is just a empty cell.

What can I expect now? Nothing...

My life still needs to move on. Aries always look for the greener grass at the peak. Only at the peak, one can see more things and although on the way up to the peak is tough but the greener grass will always be there waiting for Aries.

Whole of January is a heart breaking period for me but at least it wakes me up early to see what is wrong with my life. When a heart breaks, only the right person can pick up the broken pieces.

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