Love . Trust . Appreciate .

Wishing all M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S!!!

Today is christmas eve suppose to go guilin for dinner but mum need to work early and very tired so was cancelled and was suppose to stay at home but thinking of christmas eve alone at home makes me sad went to raffles city with june last minute decision walk alot today and wanted to buy cross stitch book but the shop i went 3yrs ago was gone maybe it changed to a new store so we went to chinatown, peoples park to buy and see see walk until chinatown point, june wanted to take photos and this is Grant 1st christmas photo with me now, alone at home and wee has gone to his frd chalet after his work my friend has "delicate" this song for me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fekUw7FPuGw thanks to my friend, Jimmy Teo

“明明” 有一個老公﹐但是老公常常在外工做。 每天見面不到五個鐘頭 說話不到二十句 常常為了點小事吵架 老婆不習慣老公那麼受歡迎 很多人認識他﹐但他不認識別人 老公喜歡帶老婆出去見朋友 可是老公沒提老婆想她有多心苦 老婆每次帶孩子出去﹐都要帶很多東西 老公應為一句 “我不知道你要帶什麼” 就坐在那等﹐讓老婆一個人做 在外﹐老公要跟朋友應湊 就由老婆抱孩子 可是帶孩子出去玩 只有老公開心﹐老婆每次要照顧孩子而不能玩得開心 很多次老婆祇想老公在家陪她 但是老公有空就出去 不是喝茶就是唱歌 不是老婆不喜歡 而是要帶小孩很麻煩 常常都是老婆帶小孩自己出去 老公有自己的娛樂 老婆想要跟朋友出去但是 沒人幫她看孩子 因為這樣﹐老婆可能有猶豫症 老婆的情緒不穩定 老公看成是無理取鬧 因為這樣﹐老公越來越不耐煩 無法忍受他所謂的 “無理取鬧” 可是因為孩子﹐他們還是再一起 這種日子還要過多久??

Today finally see the sun coming out morn hurry wash the clothes and hang out to dry if not gloomy day come and all my clothes pile up in the basket sunny day, sunny mood tonight im going to cook asam fish with lady finger, carrot, onion and fried rice with bacon bits since only me and wee are eating, so 1 dish is enough cos inside so many ingredients everyday i have to think of what to cook and since wee mum is coming back on fri or sat, these whole week i have to cook for wee so that we can save money as you know outside food are so expensive im going to look for more receipes that are simple and easy

Realised that last year didnt have any resolutions maybe too tired to think of any cos pregnant with grant and working at the same time this year, im so so free to have my resolutions something i hope to achieve 1. To have a stable job 2. To save money thats all i think right now, this 2 are the most important things for me to do

This year, we didnt celebrate wee bdae cos he is working in the afternoon and to save money, we stay at home eat i hope i can get him a present when i get a job and take him to dinner at hotel then "open" a room after dinner hahahhahaa waste money lei but eventually, i hope to go holiday alone with him but i know thats not possible cos i cant bear to leave grant alone in spore anyway, happy bdae to baby wee though its 2 weeks ago

14 December 2008 Anu wedding was held at Mount Faber Safra Club Hindu wedding in a chinese restaurant Indian buffet lunch and Hindu ceremony This little bossy grant sit until like ah peh more pics at here Door gift but its placed on the table i wanted to drink coke but they only serve lime juice the food is good and fresh but the service there is not good i reach there around 1030 staff still arranging table and glass on the table no one serve drinks until 12pm they seem to be abit rush for opening everything is not arranged when the guest reach anyway, wish this couple happiness always and they are going for honeymoon in Greece lomantic sia!

Im so bored now online surf for "bored" more boring stuff come up makes me more sleepy going to have an early rest now good night

Saturday night, alone surfing net feel the weather outside cooling and nice i like the smell of night especially mid-night reminds me the time when im out for clubbing high heels, long jeans, sexy top miss the time i had with my friends i dont miss clubbing but i miss my friends if im still single now, i would be out either drinking or "la kopi" Saturday night will never be at home for me but now...

Zambuk is specially for naughty children today, grant finally use his zambuk for his black & blue afternoon while i was out for dancing, wee take care of grant and when he is watching tv, grant has knock his face on the table i was so angry angry with wee for not taking good care of him angry with wee for not putting all the attention to me haiz man are always so irresponsible

Lately i've been lost lost of what should i do why no one wants to hire me? because im with a kid and they need to give my childcare leave? or because im not young anymore once again, im lost confidence in myself so i went to bugis and pray to guang yin and ask for a lot she ask me to 忍 bear for the time being nothing i can do much though i wanted to do something so much i hope time will pass soon i hope i can get a good job soon and earn big money so now all i can do is 忍 忍 忍

This little devil is getting more and more naughty or maybe i should say more and more active when we are all tired and he is still moving around and exploring things here and there Today, he is 9mths old another 3 more months, he is going to be 1 year old now he is starting to understand what i say he knows how to use his finger to press the toy buttons and pictures on the pillow he know when i scold him for throwing my hairband down the window and quietly look away like not his business he knows he have to finish his porridge before he can have his little snacks he knows he cannot open the drawer in the kitchen and when he saw me coming, he quickly pull the drawer out he is just doing opposite he is learning and im dying soon dying of exhaustion

Home alone again for another week today MIL & FIL has went to Hainan for treatment and massage for a week so this whole week im home alone again I love home alone

All i want for christmas is TO BE HAPPY!

Today is World AIDS day and also baby wee bird day today his bird day but he still going to work cos he wants to save his leave for next day and anyway, bird day is just another day im not working thats why no money to buy him anything maybe next year or when im working i will give him something check out more on AIDS day here

This morn went for an interview in a bank which bought over the brankrupt bank and now it is the biggest bank interview for secretary and job scopes is really busy and challenging too not those slow pace environment ok where got bank slow pace one right but i hope i dont OT too much the interviewer is "interested" in me hahaha but she is a ger if im selected, i will be assisting her as a junior secretary cos they are the senior secretary though bank might be a better place for me but i hope to get somewhere nearer here im still waiting for the reply from one of the big fire & security co near here where my travelling time is less than 20mins thats perfect near hougang and can come back on time dont need to work OT though the pay is less 200bucks but then, depends who wants me now im a nobody with no master

I miss looking out of the window enjoying the scenery though nothing is interesting looking at clouds and sometimes even raining days this window has gone thru thick and thin with me for a long time a window to calming

I'm always dreaming, day or night but i have a dream to fullfill and that is to be a wedding planner though its a tedious job with lots of coordination, but the satisfactory is high seeing couple happily married and celebrate with their family & friends its a happy occassion and everyone is happy for them i be the wedding planner and pinky open a bridal salon and zhenny be the host and fenny be the sales hahahaa thats just a dream i hope to study the event management next year and i can go into events job soon

We went for sheng da bbq on sun and to be honest, i didnt eat much except the bee hoon and curry the bbq food was delay due to the wet charcoal cos it rained that noon by the time i left, i was still hungry but not very cos i was more tired than hungry taking care of grant alone makes me tired but lucky got june to be around and carry him for me im happy to see all my old friends there and its like back to last time where we used to hang around together

Woohoo for the past whole week, i was home along again no one at home and i can have a quiet week at home with grant and wee but then, they will be back this thur or sat doesnt matter if in-laws come back but i really cant stand the boy cos its holiday now and he will everyday make noise at home wish he can go back to sch soon

Last night read about new of Baby P who is a baby in UK and a saddist has abuse him to death Baby P was just a 17mth old baby and he has suffer since he was 2mths he did not have a peaceful life till the day he died this saddist mother bf, beat and punch the baby almost everyday and his face is full of bruise i cant understand why his mother is also cold blooded to see his son suffer in silence and she also join in the fun to abuse Baby P being abuse is already a sad thing just before he died, his spinal was being broken by the mother bf and he left him to cry for hrs in his cot scattered with blood he must have really suffer alot how a baby going to endure all the pain and with his ribcage broken now he has finally rest and end all this suffering i hope he will have a better life if there's recarnation

For more than a year, i have not wear my mini skirt i like to wear jeans but due to my figure now i can only wear shorts with flarr shirt to wear a jeans with shirt is very ugly for gers thats why i dun wear jeans with t-shirt i prefer to wear with spagatti strap but my tummy doesnt allow recently i sign up Amore fitness with pinky and we always go dancing i will go more often to lose all my fats DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE AWAY ALL MY FATS!!

about my resume i felt so guility i shouldnt have cheated on my resume i know im wrong i know im a bad liar haiz.............

9 Nov, we have booked a place at Teck whye Blk 9 to set up our business where they organise a flea market on a Sunday morn early morning i went to fetch pinky from serangoon to teck whye and to make things more inconvenient, it rained i was bringing grant along cos morning no one to take care of him and pinky brings jowell cos he woke up the earliest having to bring the clothes to the place and with baby along, it really isnt that easy, somemore with no shelter from carpark to the block but luckily, ah yi is at home and she helps me to look after grant and jowell too while we were setting up, we smell a very smelly smell and we thought why the rubbish chute is so smelly our space is at the corner whereas the rubbish chute is at the middle i was so tired and sleepy having to wake up early and with grant waking me up at night, i was terribly tired the moment i reach, i wanted to leave so much dirty place with the smelly smell really makes me sick so business starts people w...

Last 2 weeks, i brought grant to er jie girls guide campfire at camp christine at lim chu kang and its the 1st time i went for campfire i rem that i dont have campfire during my sch times cos im from military band and all we have is overnight in school with not much activities except at night where we have to share our feelings and i always have nothing to say cos im not so emotional i can only rem, they cried while sharing i dont understand why they cried cos i dont even rem what they said all i know is my sec sch life wasted till my last year in sch where i meet new classmate and friends thats the only year i enjoy

Finally! After struggling for 7 months, im down with cough and body ache months of sleep deprivation makes me sick and tired just after that campfire from er jie sch, the next day im coughing and almost lost my voice now my voice is so husky and rough alot of phlegm now and at night is getting worse keep coughing and i cant sleep well i wonder how long i have to suffer this cough i dont dare to take cough medicine cos it will makes me sleepy and i wont be able to hear grant if he wakes up at night so now the only way is for me to cut down my diet on coke and heaty food i cant drink coke now and its a torture for me whole bottle of coke in the fridge i think by the time i recover, i will have to buy another bottle

Dont know what to say im just so tired

Sometimes i feel that im better off to be a single mother most of the time im alone with grant and im taking care of him alone wee is always working and sleeping i know he is tired after work and the time he spend with grant and me so much lesser after deducting his sleeping time maybe thats what working life is most of the marriage life fails because couple dont understand each other situation and didnt communication well someone ought to speak out rather than waiting for each other to say before time makes this marriage fails Maybe i have phobia in marriage and didnt really plan well we should have our own house before having a baby not say living with in law is bad but everyone has different habits years accumulate of bad & good habits are hard to accept by others sometimes i find it hard to live with wee cos of his habits too different background and brought up really needs to give and take i hope this part of my life can passby asap

His 2 front upper and lower teeth has came out last week he only has 3 and this week, his upper left tooth came out so fast he is now 7th mth and 3 weeks and going to be 8th mth soon he is growing very fast and has just changed his diapers to size XL when he wears L, his butt keep coming out and can only cover half his butt somemore his thighs is too fat and always have red marks due to small size diaper now he has learn to clap his hands and knows how to 'high five' he can stand and move himself from left to right and right to left with the help of handle soon he will walk and by then, we need more energy to look after him

2008 will finish in 2 months + 2 weeks we welcome 2009 with more ideas and goals for ourself for myself 2009 should be a more money making year 1. opportunities to sell more clothes 2. freelance more travel package to earn more commission 3. clear all the credit cards debts 3 should be enough for now i really hope i can accomplish the 3rd one by next dec but i have calculate that we need at least 2 yrs time to clear all anyway, i have a 5yrs plan for our house need to think more ways to make money I HAVE TO BE MORE HARDWORKING AND WORK SMART OH GOD... MAKE ME BE SMART FOR 2009

Today went for 2nd interview and it went well except that they dont have confidence in me to stay long in that company so the director need to consider again and might ask me to go back for 3rd interview im just applying for a secretary post and i need to go for so many interview im interested in the job cos i need the money im giving myself to stay in the company for 5yrs (which i hope i can tahan) 5yrs time to get a house (fully furnished & renovated) 5yrs time to save at least 10k 5yrs is a short term plan 10yrs down the road, i want to get a salary of 6k per mth i seem like dreaming ya but without plan, i dont know what im working hard for so now all i plan to do is to make more money ~~ money money money ~~ must be funny in a rich man world

Finally this whole week im home alone with my big baby & small baby i prefer to be alone at home cos at least im more comfortable in doing anything cooking, washing, sleeping, talking, running, walking, watching, online ANYTHING!!! nothing beats better than your own home when im alone at home, i do everything fast and clean change bedsheet, wash clothes, hang clothes, cooking i feel so happy from yesterday until now though im busier but im more happy this way quiet & peace but not everything is perfect nothing much in the fridge only enough for small baby i have to eat outside and if i were to cook at home, i always cook alot but only me and wee, so to cook for 2 is really headache for me most important, let me enjoy this quiet and peaceful days for a longer period

Tomorrow morn 1030 am same place interview for same position

Grant is 7th mth now and he learns how to stand on his own with the support of holding soon he will walk on his own by then, i will have to chase after him and keep all the things out of his reach he is very curious about everything and when he hears something, he search for it his hearing is good and even the softest sound he can hear time pass very fast when he grows up, we are old

Last night, we celebrate ah gong bdae at da jiu house and almost all went for it many children and babies but only few mothers which means we mothers are having many children it seem so crowded or rather the place is too small for everyone but then thats the biggest place for now

With other children at home, the most important thing is when they are sick one pass to another one just a day and all will be influence somemore i dont like sick children to get close to my baby it will be hard for me when they are sick but then, some adults dont know and even if they know they still let them get close together haiz now i wish to have my own house

Not sure if its true but many reports saying that Spore are facing retrenchment and job loss soon i just went for 1 interview only and till now they didnt call me back when i told them i want a higher pay think im too expensive for them sporeans should lower their expectation in near future everywhere in the world is facing crisis again just like 11yrs ago

He has learn to sit on his own last week after we came back from bintan he knows how to support himself up from laying soon he will learn to crawl he is going to be 7th mths old and is learning very fast now but im going to leave him in infant care when i go work dont know if he will learn more there or at home

Im back from interview and today is just my lucky day The interviewer are happy with my presentation and she knows im sincere in talking to her and maybe next week i can go back for 2nd interview when the director come back from overseas if i can pass the 2nd round, i have to start work on the coming wed it seem rush but the work is hell lot but its challenging and i would prefer to work in a fast pace environment those slow & quiet pace office im really scare boring and dull makes my 8hrs of work more sian but then i dont know if i want to accept cos its far and i have to take bus and mrt and then the company transport might as well look around the ang mo kio industries area which is nearer and straight bus haiz.. see how bah

Tomorrow is the day early morning i have to go out to the agent and then to the company for interview wake up at 6.30am and going out at 7.30am its been a long long time since i have to wake up for work tomorrow interview is the marketing assistant and i hope to get this job wish me luck!

Last weekend went to Bintan with wee & friends from PSA and ah pang has book the chalet using his name we took the ferry from Tanah Merah terminal and reach Bintan terminal from there, the resort coach fetch us to the resort and its a 10 mins journey from the terminal short distance trip from Spore to Bintan Spore terminal to Bintan terminal = 45 mins Bintan terminal to Nirwana Resort = 10 mins less than 1.5 hrs you reach your destination that's what we call weekend getaway hahahhaa photos are taken on the last day when check out stupid me didn't charge my battery on the 1st day and until last day then took out my camera but all the while we use xiao yi camera and we took 1 jelly fish when we are playing at the beach its jellyfish season and its not a wise choice to play in the sea with jellyfish cos they are dangerous and once you are sting by it, quickly use the vinegar provide by the resort to spray on the wounds though its only a 3 days 2 nights holiday but its enough f...

Grant is teething now and at night he reject the yao lan so much the moment i put him in, he keep crying and toss upside down making me so pek chek and tired carry him until he very sleepy then can put him in day time there is no proble sleeping but at night is really fussy his teeth is growing too fast and 1/3 of the teeth can be seen now tml im going to buy the teething medicine for him

Finally i found what i've been missing since sec sch eversince sec 1, i will go back home after sch to watch this series at 3pm and its like a routine to me thats why im always at home during sec 1 & 2 guai guai at home watch tv i miss this show so much found some episode at youtube enjoy the show

Last night dont know what happen and when i was cooking maggie mee and wanted to bring out to the table and then suddenly the bowl slant 1 side and scalded my left hand then being gan cheong scalded my right hand damn it super duper hot and my hand gone red this incident make me think of zhenny being scalded when she was small i dont know is im dreaming or is it real i saw mum carried her and put her in the water cos both her leg are scalded i dont know what happen but after that i saw red bubbles on her leg felt so scary this images are always on my mind and i dont know if its for real lucky that her leg has no scar or anything but then whole night my hand was hurting and very pain i wonder how a child can endure the pain

I really hate politics matter and all those news about "shooting darts" here and there makes me sick cant understand why so many people are "concerned" about politics and haizz... better keep my mouth shut in case i being "stab" into politics without any warning

working part time but then the pay is not as good as full time thinking of being a post woman cycling on the bicycle and sending letter to blocks this way i can get rid of my fats fast its only a temp job for me cos i know i have to get an office job in the end thinking of how to grow money but with no capital now thinking of setting up business but with capital thinking of getting a proper job and settle down and getting stable income to support grant haiz so many things to think whereas nothing can be done now thats why i can only think!

Grant is growing 2 little teeths in his lower jaw and he is bitting things more than before lately at night he didnt sleep well which means me either waking up at night when he keep making sound so tired lately last night before he sleep, use the lavender oil to help him wipe his body and at least it helps to make him sleep more and well he is growing teeth too fast last 2 weeks i see nothing much but this week i can see at least half cm and 1 little dot of teeth coming out he is learning to crawl very fast too this morning as usual, when he make sound and i carry him to sleep beside me and somehow i sleep again and by the time i woke up, he has crawl to the bed end and wanted to take the tv control on the table and instead it fall on the floor thats when i woke up to find him missing lucky the table is there to save him cos my bed is too high for him to crawl (somemore he dunno how to go down) thats really scary cant imagine what happen if he fall from the bed we have to adjust chelsi...

First we to thanks Chang-er for this festival so that we can enjoy the delicious mooncake story about chang-er is all time tales and we are all familiar with it "Story begin with Chang-er and Hou yi ... " when i was young, we always celebrate this day with candles, lantern (burning of lantern) and playing in the playground lighting all the candles around the playground and burning all the candles into wax once a year that's where we have the permission to play with fire candles paper lantern is our all time favourite cos after playing, we can burn it hahahaha

Somethings are hard to decide though nothing is perfect and nothing can be done to please both side so, decision have to be made to work for money OR to give grant more time to learn Work for money is a must in life for everyone now grant is only 6 months and my financial is getting real bad with no income and the only breadwinner is getting more tough monthly expenses is rising and same amount of income remains how?? if i go work, grant have to stay in childcare for 9, 10 hours yes work for money but then less time for baby infant care cost 800bucks a month excluding all the milk and diaper earn income just to cover this?? might as well stay at home and wait till he knows how to walk that will be easier and easy for me too but then, im going crazy at home feeling more depress and yesterday went to guilin for lunch and fen was there she keep asking me when to send ah den to spca and wee has decide to let den run on his own just like doggy rather than giving to spca and put to sleep the...

Today is grant 6th month and during his 5th month, he has learn to crawl though not really steady crawl but he can reach his destination very fast he is still using his body as a step to crawl and dont know how to use his hand to move he is learning too fast im getting so tired the more he learn the more im tired have to look after him more and need more energy eversince he came, i have no good rest at night lately is getting worse and i have no idea why he is waking up at night dont know is waking up or jus making sound feeding him at 2am and 6am is really tiring last month he can sleep all the way from 10pm to 6am but now, waking up every few hours maybe his gum is making feel irriating he has grown 1 little teeth and its coming out too fast last week i saw its only a little bit of white teeth in the gum and today i see is a big piece coming out real fast time flies and now he is 6th month my figure is coming back though not very fast needs to firm those loose skin on my tummy yucks!...

Suddenly i realise that i should have cherish baby wee more than ever i know its a torture for him to have tolerate my temper me being easily pek chek and sometimes talk too loud to him and show him temper sometimes when im really so tired he still do things that make me angry especially when im sleepy and tired hope still i must appreciate that i have him with me

Jordan has arrived on 01/09/2008 weighing 2.5kg and 47cm Pinky went for ceasaran in the morning as this is her 3rd time ceasaran, so Jordan has to come out on his 37weeks thats why he is so light and small but cute when i saw how small he is i dont have the courage to carry him seem so fragile and small now grant is so big and meat meat carrying jordan makes me nervous but then, when grant jus arrive i also carry him and aint nervous at all its just human nature

Grant is coming to 6th month and during his 5th month, he learns alot of things but then getting more naughty making my blood boils everyday i used to like changing diapers for him but now, i wish baby dun need to change diaper change a diaper makes me sweat and angry lay him flat and he keep tossing over and over again and again he jus wan to lay on his stomach makes me so pek chek me have no idea how to handle this situation give him toys works only for awhile less than 15 secs, he's back to devil its bad for me to beat his backside last night when i changed his diaper i was really angry and beat his backside abit hard he did stop, but for 3 secs and tossing back again damn! after awhile i saw red marks on his backside and i know i have beat him too hard heart pain for awhile but still angry wanna give up and cry haiz i wonder how long he is going to be like this im having phobia change diaper now

My body is getting more and more tired lack of exercise and housework makes me fat and lazy i used to do housework at teck whye with the 2 dogs, they keep me busy with their urine and shit now though im having a more comfortable life but i know i cant stay in comfort zone for long i need to break out from here its too early for me to be in comfort zone i have to work for money to buy many many things for grant and wee i really have to work for money when i get a job i have to take my job seriously but then, everytime its not me who aint serious but its im too fast for the slow pace job getting work done too fast and having too much free time but now, if i get a job, i can use my free time to play facebook hahhahahha

Doggy has been missing for months and all these while i miss him so much thinking of every morning he will sleep outside my room waiting for me to wake up while i go toilet he will lay on the floor to sun tan while waiting for me though he keep barking at neighbours whenever they pass by but i know we are safe i always shout at him to keep quiet and eversince he's gone, its really quiet not used to without him barking i dreamt of him when he went missing that week dreamt of him as a human chatting with me he seem happy and we are chatting like friend now i really miss him so much all these years i have been taking care of him and i know his health is detoriating he's old but he still can run with ah den as companion, he's very happy and easily jealous too when we touch ah den they used to play with each other everyday and running around in the house playing with the rug and ball on the floor having dinner together and sometimes quarreling over small snacks those are the tim...

Widia has a bf now and its 5 mths really happy to hear that she is attached now and i hope she can have happiness always

These 2 days im at least feeling better taking things more easy now for a better environment for grant, all i can is to endure i felt that a baby grow up environment is very important its my responsible to teach my son how to behave and his manners part of it is because i cant stand naughty children they makes my blood boil when they dont listen to me i hate loud noise but i know sometimes children need to learn to shout but not always rem how naughty we were when we were small making our mother blood boil everyday now i know how hard she has to work to support our family everyday troubled about the money and having no time to take care of us at least we didnt become those "lians" and join any gangs those were the times when my child grow old, they have new patterns of being naughty but rem, we are naughty too so we know what tricks they are up to

Last Thursday had dinner with old friends and i felt really happy to be out with friends rather than at home felt more relax and happy though its only 2hours meet up but we are all happy felt like back to school times all the chatting and joking makes me relieved for awhile also have to thanks wee for taking care of grant while im with my friends i hope to have more time and meet up with my friends cos friends are so important to me

I have so many things to blog but when i have the time to really blog, i dunno what to blog too many things to say too little time to say life with no goals makes one sick

Finally back to spore on tue night 4 days in redang makes me tired but happy every morn bring grant to see the sea and listen to the waves he knows how to look at the sea he can sit quietly and enjoy the sea without moving around maybe the waves make him calm This trip, alot of people wants to carry him and he likes to be carry around but not too often as he prefer to play on the bed with his back up everyone enjoy this trip but i didn't enjoy that much except the ktv night i have to take care of grant when they went snorkeling and leaving me alone with him nothing much i can do except to play xiao yi PSP but at least he didn't make a fuss there on the coach he is pretty ok only when its too cold then he will make alot of noise luckily i have bought a jacket for him to wear during the journey next year, everyone wants to go back to redang to enjoy the sun and sea again mum and uncle enjoy this trip alot and everyday down the sea to snorkeling enjoying in the baby p...

leaving for redang on friday night and its the 1st trip for grant bringing him overseas seem to be troublesome and lots and lots of things to bring lucky wee got a big big laguage for his diving equipments and with a big bag like this, we can bring lots of baby things over haiz somehow something keeps bothering me maybe i cant have dun with grant around cos have to keep carry him but at least mum & uncle can have a good time

He is walking slowly with his walker and can move alot then last week but then, people dont know the purpose of walker and keep carrying him haiz i prefer to let him explore himself in his walker cos at least he is learning more than carrying him in arms carry him in arms let him learn nothing i let him lay down on his own and he keep turning with his back up now he can turn 1 round with his back up he learn pretty fast now and i hope he gets more freedom when he is learning rather then in arms i hope he can be more independent even when someone is around in his 4th month, he has learn to take his 1st food, mashed vege and fruits jam he likes all the favour carrot, parnish, sweet potatoe, apple, pear, mango and especially apple juice

One of my principle in life is not to have regrets in whatever I do I have never regret anything i do even though not all things i does are right my only regret is never have a chance to go for air stewardess i have this dream to be air stewardess since i was 18 and that was 9 years ago along the years, everyone always disapprove of me going for this dream 1st its my mum who disagree 2nd its all my ex bf who always disagree 3rd of cos is my husband baby wee many said this industry are complicated but i think all industry are complicated if one wants to have a complicated life, wherever he/she goes, its the same people in office can have office politics, office affairs sales industry, hotel industry, travel industry u name it and all have the same result when one is not discipline so whats the difference is air stewardess only difference is they get to see more things and people more open minded or rather more defensive as they know human are dangerous now its almost impossible for me t...

Trying to adjust my life in hougang now and the neighbour hood here is really scary 1st: at night i can hear husband & wife quarrel and things being thrown on the floor more like a fridge being turn over and all kinds of noise and shouting, quarreling and this really disturb me cos at teck whye i have never heard neighbour quarrel until so harsh and at night with all the things being thrown sounds like a crime is to be commited but dun think so cos no police arrive and no news about anything 2nd: downstair always got people talk very loud and laughing at night around 9plus its late and people are so inconsiderate 3rd: upstair neighbour have no washing machine and they hang the clothes outside and making grant pillow wet felt so disgusted and dirty how can anyone being so selfish and stupid knowing that the clothes are so wet with water dripping and damn! hanging out making others clothes wet 4th: new flats with new system common rubbish chub at the corridoor making cleaning difficu...

Yesterday grant has learned to turn to his left side when he lay down i wasnt attending much to him and leave him alone to play and when i turn around to check on him, he has turn his body to his left side thats really amaze me cos all the while he dunno how and suddenly he show me he can he is slowly learning things and now he eats his hands all the time making his whole mouth so wet and hands too i have to keep changing the crib i still prefer to leave him alone laying there than carry him around but sometimes have to carry him around to see the environment at least he learns to be dependent

Its raining cats & dogs every morn now loud thunder & lightning before the heavy rain its like we are having a storm june should be a hot month but every now and then, its raining heavily global health is declining its a warning to us that earth is dying soon without the earth, where can we earthing live? possible to live in outer space? if we were to live in outer space then wont it be so dark and gloomy everyday no sunshine, no trees, no grass, no flowers, no gardens only romantic stars and milky way its too late to heal the earth now we are destroying too much

Sometimes i seem to be floating and lost in my way i have no idea where to go and what to pursue too many things in mind to decide no one to guide me along the way communication seems hard to me now everyday its just me and grant routine routine routine when is the break out for me, i ask myself i know its time but still there's something i cant put down soon or later i know its time to let go and grab onto another everyone know the truth but no one wants to face it everyone is just escaping from reality

Its raining cats & dogs now Grant is sleeping after his feeding i have just finished my breakfast these few days has been raining and sunshine is hardly come out after the rain clothes have to be hang for few days before it dry

He just left for redang and leaving me and grant at home eversince we are together, we have never part for more than a day and this time, he is leaving me and grant for 5days 5nights its time for me to quiet down i miss the sun and sea at redang and the carefree life which we used to enjoy doing nothing by the sea makes us relax and stress-free enjoying everyday, watching the sea, sleeping on the beach now everyday at home looking after grant really makes me tired and restless i dun have time to do my things if im alone at home taking care of him and making things worse is when i dun have time to eat wish i can go out work asap

Im really tired from pumping milk tired when every 3 hours i have to pump, tired when engorement come when im outside, tired when the milk cant be pump finish, tired when the duct is block and massage & cold turkey doesnt help pregnancy isnt the worst after birth is the starting of the nightmare ever since im discharge from hospital, i have to wake up every 3hrs and each day, i sleep less than 6hrs and which is why my black eye is getting darker im lucky to have mum look after grant in the noon where i can catch some sleep if not im really turning into a panda i dunno how long i can endure to breastfeed im so scare to have breast infection when the duct is not unblock initially im still hoping i can feed for 6mths but now, i dunno how

Now is the sensitive period for motherhood cos hormones changes and mood swing is unpredictable well crying spell is in the party too some expert refer the 1st 3mths the fourth trimester which can be really true cos with all the challenges, emotions and most importantly, the human some people take the words seriously but the one who said it out doesn't mean anything its all in the mind i hope i can pass this fourth trimester asap cos all i want now is to get better so that i can do more things and be more healthy i felt so sick and tired of being unwell and with such wound on me, emotion get worse pray for my wounds to heal asap

He has finally arrived on 12 Mar and i have contraction for 26hours before he is out my contraction start on 11 Mar 4am and he arrived on 12 Mar 6am by caesarean and its a last min operation cos he poo poo inside and its dangerous if natural birth for he might get lung infection since he cant get lung infection, so i have to suffer by getting infection on my wounds and since the operation, its been 3 weeks and now my wounds have opened and due to this infection, i have spend an extra 1k for this treatment its really waste of money and time cos i have to go for dressing at the clinic and each visit is 80bucks and well if the doc think im printing cash then he is super wrong and in the end i have to go to polyclinic for dressing which cost less than 10bucks for each dressing so why should i waste my money to go such a far away place and expensive treatment whereas polyclinic can provide the same treatment i should have go earlier and not waste so much money haiz... what to do but so long...

Do you know every 1st day of the month, the church bell will sound at 12pm Today is the 1st day of March and at 12pm, the church below has rang the bell and it sound so nice though its less than 10 seconds

Is really a torture for me my tummy is feeling itchy everyday and the worst thing is i cant scratch or else more stretch mark will be left behind not only itchy on the tummy, whole body seems to itch when the urge to scratch become worse i do enjoy being pregnant but not the last month tummy getting heavier, feeling that tummy going to explore soon, movement become more clummsy, whole body swollen like pig emotional getting hard to control doc said i can give birth anytime from now but i still hope Grant will be out in early mar and thats 2 weeks from now hope i can endure another 2 more weeks

A blog has been created for Grant and shall record from my last month of pregancy for him when he is born, i shall update his growing monthly until he can learn to use computer and from there onwards, he can update on his own http://grantlim.blogspot.com though it takes a long long time for him to use the PC but i hope i have to patience to update every month on how his progress is Grant will be out in less than a month and getting excited and nervous too now we can only wait for his arrival

CNY is coming soon and every year, the enthusiasim of celebrating CNY is getting lesser and lesser not everyone is into CNY nowadays or maybe we have all grown up and there's nothing special to celebrate except to meet up relatives which we see once a year or even longer last time i used to collect ang bao but now, i have to give out ang bao and its really a hassle cos having to think how many to give and who to give and how much to give anyway, takers are always happy but no matter what, so long everyone is happy, all is worth the hassle

A person without any pay check is really miserable with no job and that means no income to live in luxury where good food are available and shopping is no big deal to have all these thing, i really want to go work and have the money to get the things i want but now i have no chance to work till 4 months later or maybe later when Grant is more stable and if possible, someone who can take care of him when i go to work life after pregancy is going to be very tiring and stress when all the time and strenght are to be given to baby and without time and strenght, how are one going to work for money worse still is that no time to go out and have all the fun and everyday got to be at home taking care of baby though freedom is going to be lost for few years, but sometimes i think that the rewards are greater and all these scarifice are worth it

Last week we went to Er gu house and we had a wonderful lunch at her house cos she has cooked so many dish for us with all the fat meats and herbs, she cook the dark soya sauce pork and pork ribs soup and many other dishes though she has cooked so much for us but she didnt eat cos she had a heavy breakfast and only we ate and kind of pai seh cos the host is not eating and we are eating ouselves chelsie is sleepy and so doesnt everyone we were there the whole noon and kind of sleepy after lunch but er gu told us to stay till dinner time but we cant cos wee wee got to work at night and have to go back sleep in the noon to prepare for night shift chelsie is so popular and anyone who see her would like to carry her cos she always smile and she is so cute er gu house has a dog that looks like a sheep with its curly fur and almost the same size as baby sheep the 2 boring one are cam whoring cos they have nothing to do and the only thing they can do is to take photo