Love . Trust . Appreciate .

Many things are to be left unspoken. Not to prevent conflict but its pointless to talk more.

Christmas is coming but i dont feel the heat of Christmas coming. Every year, we celebrate xmas at Guilin and this year, everysince 4th aunty has her new house, we go there celebrate most of the time. As usual, potluck and gift exchange. But this year, kids present are alot more to prepare. Its a headache to buy present as different people with different present. Hope this year we have a great time.

This weekend something happen again. Though it's not within my means to probe into this matter but then he's still my ah gong. This is really heart-breaking. 1 father with 3 sons. Why cant he still get happiness? Pushing him around, staying with each one 1 month each time. Have a maid but 1 son wife is not happy about the maid. Request to send the maid home and she said she will look after him even when carrying him downstair. 2 other son disagree becos without maid, no one can look after him 24hrs and with ah gong all the time. Becos of this, this son wife is happy now that ah gong is not going back to AH GONG HOUSE (which she is staying now). This is ah gong house but then, everyone wonder has she transfer the house to her name now. More never ending stories and im sick and tired of this. I wish ah gong can stay at our teck whye house cos we still have a room left. but then, mum is not there and who would have agree?

I'm nervous I'm excited I'm happy I'm worried I'm afraid I'm in dilemma I'm looking forward I'm starting to imagine I'm planning I'm waiting I'm....

Today being praised by the top management is good but then, it means more trouble coming. Trouble with woman top management, trouble with getting things done more efficiently, trouble with more perfect job being done. I can feel that the top management (woman) are happy I'm that being praised by our director becos I'm under the same dept. They might have felt threaten and i can feel the arrow coming to me slowly. Picking on my work and more things to be on the way. All i can do is "BEWARE AND BE CAREFUL"

Today is the 1st time i Over Time until so late; 640pm. Rushing the minutes for the meeting and getting things done before i go. Everyday i go home on the dot and today people saw me still working at my desk at 6pm, they keep asking me why am i still working. All i can say is "I'm rushing for work" becos the minutes are somehow confidential and i cant reveal much to others. But this OT is worth it cos they are satisfied with the minutes and im glad i have done it well this time. But of cos next time they will expect a better minutes than this.

After 3 months of probation, I'm finally getting my confirmation letter with an increment of 200bucks. Woohoooo Soooo happy... Though 200bucks is not much but at least im getting higher pay to get more things for me and grant. Woohooo so so happy

Grant has been sick for the past whole week. Everything starts with a small cough. When he was having those little bit cough, i brought him to see doc and after he drank the medicine, his cough starts to get worse. Before i bring him to see doc, i thought it would be good to have some precaution before the real harsh cough starts. But then, everything become worse after 1 week of cough. He suddenly have high fever and highest at 40dc. The past whole week i have to take unpaid leave to take care of him and taking turns between me and wee. He also took leave to take care of Grant and its hard for both of us especially i can hardly sleep. I have to wake up and check on his temperature every hour to make sure his fever doesn't get too high. Went to Thomson hospital twice and he had to insert the medicine in his butt to reduce his temperature. Its hard for him and we have to do it at home when his temperature gets above 38dc. Its really a torture. Today is his 1st day returning to ch...

I really need to vent it out Why have I to suffer all the unneccessary mind torture Before marriage, i have to worry about teck whye financial. Every month worry about the house loan and now i have to worry about my husband financial debt. Its been 2 years and the credit card debt is still not cleared. I have no house, no financial secure, no happiness here. I'm living off my in-law and that makes things worse. The only thing i can do is to pay the monthly power supply which cost $150. They still want us to pay the starhub bill which $88 and we hardly can survive on our peanuts pay. Every month we have to pay so many things and becos of the car loan, we cant do much. I really wonder why I have married a no planning man. Making my life in a financial mess and I cant have a better life.

First time i received complains from Grant teacher. Yesterday, teacher said he actually bites his classmate nose until red red and makes his classmate cried. I was so angry and keep telling him off during dinner time. He knows he is wrong and dont dare to look at me. Trying to look away from my eyes and making a sad face. His poor friend must have suffered from his watery mouth and painful bites.

Been working for 3 weeks and each week is getting busier than before. More paper work to be done and now covering 1 colleague work while she went to Italy. Though im so busy but im so happy at work. I dont understand why i can keep smiling at work and come back to welcome my black face. But this 2 weeks, I'm super happy cos Im alone at home. PIL went overseas till next week and i felt so peaceful. With grant around, i can be busy and got to entertain him when he ask me to play with him while im cooking. But i'm happy to be busy ALONE. At least i can do what i like openly. Work: People seems to be busy with their own things but most of them are just busy reading emails and replying emails. Anything that can show that they are available from email. Well only the purchaser are busy, sometimes. Im always busy. With more superintendent asking me to do some minor paper work which i think they are plain lazy to type themself and using an excuse of "URGENT" to ask me type. N...

Life is so fragile anytime, anywhere, you'll be gone Cycle of life makes one happy and sad New life gives us new hope and the strenght to carry on Desending of life seems like a misfortune to the living one but sometimes its a relief for the suffering dead Today, my cousins grandfather died he has been struggling for a long time they said, he wants to live but then, illness took him away forever I'm so sad to think that one day, ma and pa will be gone too I know its just a matter of time when they are leaving us but i hope not so soon i haven really repay them yet they haven enjoy their life Last week pa was sick and due to the intense pain in the intestinal, he has to go hospital luckily he was outpatient but still got to go back for check up next 2 weeks pray that he is fine and nothing serious doc said his blood sugar is abit high and got to watch for his diet i felt so bad that i cant bring him to doc cos i was living there anymore i should have stay with him instead of mov...

Just realised that i've been rushing since last week. Rushing to work and childcare. Early morning bring Grant to childcare and after there leave for work. This few days, after i left him there, he keep crying and wanted to leave with me. Just now on the bus i was thinking how he cried and it really breaks my heart. I felt that i have really neglect him eversince i work. Everyday im rushing for time. Though i came early in the morning but after i have to leave on dot to bring him home cos by the time i reached there is 645pm and most of the children has left. Leaving only a few kids. I know he is feeling neglected in childcare cos how can 1 teacher took care so many kids at a time. I alone take care of Grant is a headached let alone so many kids. Wish i can strike lottery and get a house near teck whye so that we can live near mum or dad and they can go fetch him early in the evening. I dont want wee parents go and bring him back cos of the dexter at home. Haiz.. this is really tou...

Grant has been going to childcare for 2 weeks. Everything is getting better and he listen to me better too. Last time he seems like playing on his own and dont really care what im talking. Even when i talked to him he will just carry on his own mind. But now, he listen to me and seems to grow up alot in the sense of maturity. He knows what is going around him and observe others more rather than seeing himself only. I know its hard for him to be in childcare whole day and i would very much like my mum to take care of him if possible. Cos i know my mum wont pamper him like wee mum. Im really scare wee mum to take care of him becos she is teaching dexter the wrong way. I wont want grant to be like him. She teach him to lie thought not directly but when she lie infront of him, he learns and think that lying is no big deal. Example: when dexter mum asked wee mum whats he's doing now, she would reply that he's studying for spelling but the truth is that he is watching TV. Though i sa...

Today, me & Grant send wee and da fei yi and her friends off to redang at the Budget terminal. They are going for 6 days 5 nights and coming back next Thur . And I'm stuck at this house! At this time, i really wish to have my own house. After sending them off, i really have nowhere to go. Don't feel like coming back and just drive the way down to Jing wei there at seng kang . Thought of going back to teck whye but its a long journey for Grant becos i didn't bring any milk out and I'm really phobia of him crying in the car while I'm driving alone with him. It's really dangerous and choose not to take the risk. Went to jing wei mobile shop and stay with her for awhile until 630pm and head for home. It's Saturday and all the show are either repeat or sucks. Really so boring on weekend. Wish i have no burden and i can go where i like. Even clubbing is no problem for me anytime. But now, I've got to bear my responsibility for another 10 ...

I wonder why Grant keep throwing his temper after he went to childcare. Is it because he saw other children doing the same thing and he come back do the same or just want to get our attention by doing this. This is really bad cos he keep shouting and its really like those rebellious kids. Im starting work tomorrow and i hope everything goes well for him and me.

Im starting work next Monday instead of Thursday because the one Im going to replace is leaving soon. I think. Its good that I can start early rather than wasting time at home. Wish me all the best in my new JOB and hope everything goes well for me.

The silence has finally come today. With me alone in the house and Grant at childcare is always what i want. But now, without grant with me, i felt kind of quiet and miss him. Without his disturbance while I'm at my computer table, I'm really not used to this serenity. Today i keep asking myself; have i done the right thing to send him to childcare? Yesterday after i send him to childcare, me and wee went for breakfast and when we return to the childcare, he kept crying. I know its hard for him to adjust to the childcare so suddenly, but I'm starting work next Monday and i cant possibly next week then send him over. Last night i kept thinking of doggy and recall the way i chase him away forever. Its my fault for not looking for him when he went missing but I really have no means to look after him when grant is with me. I regret mistreating doggy when he is with me and now he's gone. I still miss him alot till now. He had been with me for 6 years and just because i have ...

Finally after 2 interviews, I'm hired by a shipping company in Bencoolen street. Starting work this 23th and Grant will be going to childcare this coming Monday. Just now went to the childcare and let him play. Seems like he pretty much like the place. So many toys and friends with him. He didnt look for me when I'm in the office discussing with the principal and thats a good sign because i wont want him to keep looking for me if not how he going to stay in the childcare. I hope everything goes well for him in the childcare.

I'm looking for job now because I know I'm going to fail my O level. Guess its too late for me to retake Os now. All the subject has changed and the more I study, the more I'm confused. New method, new teaching. Which to follow? The old method I learnt has gone. Now its all new. I'm like those elderly trying to learn new things and time is catching up. I should go for Secretary course in the 1st place but due to the expensive fees, I have sign up for O level. Its really a big big mistake. I don't know why I have made so many mistake this year. 1st is this O level, 2nd is the stupid HP. waste money and waste time! Damn!!! Now I'm trying to sell my hp and i was so happy when it was sold the day before. I think I'm really in bad luck because the phone was returned back. The phone hang when he upload the photos just 1 day after he bought. Haiz!!! Why is this happening to me? All the bad luck for this year. Making me waste money!! From now on, I must really think...

Grant is singing while listening to music. He knows how to hum abit and follow the rhyme. He is learning so fast that when wee say "beat you ar", he will raise his hands and want to beat him instead. But he still not beating YET. I hope when I put him in childcare, he wont learn the bad habits but also wont let him get bullied too. What a contradiction between childcare and baby-sitter. Its dangerous to give baby-sitter look after especially at their house. It all depends on luck whether this baby-sitter will treat baby good or bad. Unless we put camera at home when baby-sitter is at home. Haiz wish that I can have my own house soon. Sick and tired of here.

So many things to blog but due to my laziness and addiciton to TV lately, i hardly on my pc. I dont know why i'm so glue to TV eversince im back from Redang. Maybe because Redang have no TV and now the HK drama series are all so exciting that i can watch from 8pm till 12pm. But got to wait till Grant sleep then i can enjoy the show.

Can they be couple? They look so matching

When i broke up with Brandon, he put his nick as “我以为心痛是一种形容词。原来不是 …是一种感觉 …而且很痛很痛” Well, maybe not for me but now, I find this sentence... i have no idea what to describe. A mix feeling that includes: 心痛 + 绝望 + 失望 + 生气 + 乱绪 = ?? Totally no idea what's the combination terminology is. What the hell is going on here? I know it's not PMS or mood swing. Neither nor I'm getting crazy soon. Just that I wish things would go my way but whenever hopes arise, it falls so badly and painfully. When will i get 麻木 to cure all the feelings within me?

Eversince im back from redang, i've no desire to surf net and even blogging. It's like i'm getting lazier and lossing touch from the online work because i'm sick of facebook. Nothing more interesting and special for me to log in even to check on friends. It seem to be a chore for me. Worst still is the rules of facebook having the rights to our photos and to upload my photos i have to think about it too. Not that i'm being stingy not to give any photos but i wont want to see my photos in other emails or advertisement one day while browsing. Anyway, what's next after facebook?

I really feel like giving up my studies and work for money. I have a good husband who can earn money and at the same time spending money like water. I wonder how long i can endure all these. Fortune teller told me not to quarrel about money but i really hate to have all these worries every month. Months after months, hoping he can learn how to manage his financial but then it's still the same. That's why everyone wants to marry a rich guy. What a wise choice.

Today is a busy day for everyone especially baby wee. Last night he work from 11pm till this morning 730am and came to rest awhile only and have to send his parents to Johor. After he come back, we are going to fetch zhenny and aunty nancy to ah yi house for her house warming. Then in the evening, he has to go airport fetch JB to ah yi house and it's a coincidence that we are celebrating house warming and his coming back. For now, I'm going to bath and prepare to go out once baby wee come home.

Last night watch Marley and I and cried until my eyes swollen like ping pong ball. I miss doggy even more after this show. The time where we have spend together and before Grant came, I still care about him and hug him but eversince I'm pregnant, my mood swing came and due to tiredness, I hardly had time to care him. When Ah den came, he become so jealous and it's like no one care about him. But I still love him even though Ah den came. I have been with Doggy for 5 years and last year, he went missing or maybe being carried away by the neighbours. I can't go ask him back because I dont have the energy and patient to take care of him. I really felt that I've mis-treat him. He used to sleep in my room and on my bed corner where he curls up and sleep. Sometimes I forgot to let him out of my room and when I came home, he has pee on my bed making more even more angry. Tired from work and coming home to change bedsheet. That's annoying but now, he's gone. Hope he has ...

I am msn-ing to my cousin, Zi Kai, who is only pri 3 and he used to be a very naughty boy where he talks rude and shout at us. We used to dislike him because he is really no manners and our family cant stand naughty children. Maybe thats why our children are naughty too. Now they have all grown up and the eldest sister, Xiang Ying, who has just went to US for further studies and she is only 16 years old. They are lucky and fortunate to have the good God-Parents whom take care of them since young. Providing everything they need and even school fees included. How I wish to have someone sponsor me for studies when I was young. Concentrating all on studies and not having to give up where financial is a problem. And now, I would not have to study O level at this age though age is not a problem in studying. Just now i ask him where is his another sister, Xiang Ting. She has went out to play basketball and haven went home. It's going to 9pm and she's still outside. During my time, at ...

Yesterday went in JB and everything was fine. Did not meet anyone i don't like nor hate. Went into Jusco to shop but then everything is expensive than Singapore. Wanted to buy clothes but the style is just not right. When style suits, price doesn't. What a chore to shop for clothes in JB. Anyway after shopping, we went to have dinner at a seafood restaurant which is quite far from the city and about 30mins drive from Jusco, we arrived at the kelong restaurant. We have around 4 cars going together and total 11 person and 2 babies. Wasnt really full and food wasnt that good either. But then, its just a dinner. I didnt seem to have done anything in JB and I felt so tired going for just 5hours. Shopping eating passed so fast and its like a waste of time that i didnt bought anything. Next time I should have go KL to shop but it's a long and tiring journey to go over shopping and somemore the style isnt like Singapore. I still prefer Cottonon. Cheap and nice.

Just now i read the i weekly astrology and its so damn true The book said Monday I'll will have mood swing and something will make me more upset and its true when i return back i am angry when i saw the boy. Not saying that seeing him makes me angry but he keep doing things that makes me angry. I was so pek chek yesterday and didn't went for the class but lucky i didn't go because was cancelled. 2 nd point of the book indicates that Wednesday I'll meet someone i don't like and tomorrow is not a good day for me. Sian ! I'm going to JB tomorrow and I'll meet someone i don't like. Who's the one?? Tomorrow i shall see! Hopefully this point is not accurate because i don't want to get angry with anymore. Another point said is the Rooster forecast: Will spend alot of money that I think it's worth the price but there's villain speaking sarcastic about the thing i bought. Damn good! Another point to spoilt my day of shopping. Well this point...

All these year, I'm feeling guilty towards pillow because i felt that I've let him down not because i dump him but because i left him when he need me the most. After the last meet up, he seems to hate me more than ever just because he want me to trust him that there's nothing between him and fanny. But i know very clear that he had slept with her and that doesn't matter to me anymore because i just hope he can find someone to take care of him while he is sick. Maybe he still hate me for leaving him and every time he saw me he don't want to smile at me though we've not meet for years. As long he's still in Singapore and doing fine, I'm glad. All i wish for him is good health and happiness.

Yeah finally i can post thru my mobile now though its alot slower than my super pc but when one is lazy to even log on to pc wi-fi is alot easier i can even lay down to blog now thanks to my new mobile phone - LG Renoir

Dont forget I'm a mother too now Now I know that the post of "Mother" isnt a good job but then it's the most achieving thing that I've ever done knowing that how terrible mum has been for the past 20yrs to brought us up with the limited financial and things she has to go thru we are at least more fortunate than her times and now only 1 child makes us crazy... imagine she has to take care 4 of us we are really fortunate to have da fei yi to tale care of us when mum is working so she's like a mother to us too and we have to respect her just like mum now it's my turn to "suffer" for another 20yrs or more

I seem to have mental block when i logged into blogger i wanted to post something but then i cant remember what i wanted am i getting old enough to forget what i actually wanted to post or am i just getting lazy to think what i should have remembered

Cant find what i wanted for the blog skin all the skins looks dull or childish nothing suits my style why is it so hard to get something i like??

Time is running so fast and I only have 6 more months to study my 5 subjects I dont want to fail and waste 1 more year to retake its really too long to wait I've wasted many years and turning 30 soon i need to have more money for my future home ~~money money money~~

Last week when i was sending xiao yi home after jing wei, i came across something which made me gulity and disgusting i had actually ran over a dead cat i didnt do it purposely but when i reach the dead cat, i realised that that the tyre is going to crash it and i cant go to the other lane cos i haven check the blind spot its really hard to describe the feelings im going thru gulity but disgusting All Mi Tou Fo

I can't believe that one of my POA classmate had the same form teacher as me but in different school Her form teacher Mrs Tai was mine form teacher 10years ago though Mrs Tai had transfered to another school and its really fated that i met her student this ger, Chloe, was in Hill Grove Sec and was staying at west side but only Bishan ITE provide the POA class and thus we are in the same class this is really coincidence

I'm very surprise that i cant still find the answer i want online im using old calculator which is more than 10yrs and i want to reset the format but there's no reset button so trying to find user guide for this calculator and instead i found this http://lesterchan.net/blog/2009/02/18/casio-scientific-calculator-fx-992s/ beside the calculator there's a quick user guide and i finally got the mode i want thanks for this lesterchan

Yesterday went for picnic at Sentosa Tanjong Rhu where it's not crowded and less popular among the other beach we mothers bring our babies to the beach to explore and picnic grant 1st time to beach and sand he is very scare of the rough sand when he step on the sand he dont even dare to move an inch even though i hold his hand i should bring him to beach more often in future to let him explore and play chelsie was walking around him and bringing the sand from one side to the other and made our mat sandy with her "delivery" of sand hahahhaa it was a tired day for them and for me too hot sunny makes one lazy and sleepy somemore with the kids around, more tired but i enjoy this outing cos its great to be out in the sun with zhenny and chelsie woohooo

This is the good luck leaf which depends on wether you have the luck to groom it into the 4 leaf plant this is taken only 2 days after i planted it

Yeah this is my birthday present from France, especially brought over from zhenny now its time to buy some good coffee powder

Marching is ending soon in just another 1 week time really flies this year or when one gets older, time is really not enough too many things to do too many plans to execute rushing thru the days and each day ending up with tiredness now all the kids are growing fast the eldest Enen is already 3 years old this year and the youngest one is Jordan who is only 6mths old all the cousins of grant are growing up with him days by days went passed without realising how much time I've wasted in playing game instead of studying busy with grant and studies everyday not enough sleep to replenish all the energy i need i wonder when I'll collapse but then when i think i think of grant without me taking care of, all the sickness have to wait until when I'm free

Last week wanted to buy 1 correction tape to use liquid paper stinks and when i saw its 3 for 9bucks, i quickly bought it when i used it, it cant be use keep jamming ad i have to roll the roller myself thought to myself that why are the stationery nowadays so lousy even this correction tape is useless though its cheap damn it! try reading the instructions in case i used it wrongly and it said "NOT USABLE WITHOUT APPLICATOR"

Yes yes yes! after a 4 days celebration for Grant bdae, we have another 3 days celebration for zhenny returning starting from friday night dinner at teck whye and sat dinner with mee siam and KFC where everything were all finished cant remember how many people were there on sat night after a gathering on sat night, sun noon we gather again at Guilin with BBQ at night and everyone had ate until so full busy eating busy drinking busy chatting busy BBQ-ing busy chasing babies busy playing busy busy busy everyone was getting happy with their busy activities 3 days gathering for our family it was great and it's been a long time since we all gather like this it was really great to have each other again

Reading back the older post in 2004 really makes me laugh I can never understand why I'm so emotional last time now I'm like numb to everything not much emotional coming over me taking things more easy and being self-centered maybe it's a way to protect oneself from getting hurt or maybe everything is just fine now

Thanks for all the relatives and friends who have attend Grant 1st birthday celebration which last 4 days starting from Friday night, we have finally end it on Monday night what a tired happy and tired celebration everyday busy busy busy busy entertaining relatives and friends busy preparing food and drinks busy fetching people from MRT busy sending people to MRT busy going to giant topping up groceries I was really busy until no photos taken in this 4 days until the birthday cake came out but only few photos taken got to thanks to June, Da fei yi & Fenny for coming over to help me out thanks for all the ang baos' and present for Grant especially to the PSA officer cos they have bought a big car for him and some more giving ang bao Thank you!

Monday went for the 1st lesson of POA teacher was nice and funny but the learning is really hard i knew i learn this when Mrs Tai taught us 10 years ago that's the start of not having to learn POA when this lesson starts the rules of principle is really hard things to credit, debit, double entry and everything he has this method to make us learn by heart or rather learn the logical of this rules at first i was rather declined to learn this method cos this is really difficult but after 3hrs of the lesson, i finally know what all the rules is about this POA is getting more interesting because the satisfaction behind this POA is when you can balance all the questions without balancing, you know you have done wrong and wont get any pass

Yesterday was my science 1st lesson Chemistry!! all the chemicals, apparatus, terms and everything just came back so familiar 1st lesson we went to lab for test of gases i thought I'll know everything but then i felt so lost when i going to do confused and lost well not only me.. almost everyone teacher has to stop halfway and explain to us but after explaining, things went well but then I'm too scare to light up the Bunsen burner try many times and didn't light up until 1 classmate came over to help damn! i light up the wrong way but I'm grateful for him to help me he sits just behind me in the classroom 1 more thing become so familiar to me is when we get nervous and start to call for help from teacher, we call "CHER" hahahhahaa that's what we always call when we need help in school, don't we?

This week my tuition's class starts yesterday went for the 1st lesson for POA and find that i'm really too impatient for classmates 2 gers behind me keep talking and talking until the teacher came who was late for 15mins making us wait when he was walking pass the class so many times he is really 1 blur sotong he doesn't know which class he should be going and when he came, he talk and talk about many things all i wanted was to start the teaching he intro the POA exam papers, his experience, past students experience haiz... a long winded teacher but I'm not going to see him again cos I'm changing class to Monday my schedule as followed: Monday: 7-10pm Bishan Tuesday: 7-10pm Yio Chu Kang Sex Sec Saturday: 2-5pm Bishan Sunday: 9-12pm Bishan so ladies, 3 days out of a week

Last night went to ah yi new house which is 2 storey above the old house its so much difference from the old one when we go in, we like the house so much nice and clean simple yet comfortable this really inspire me to buy new house ASAP though its a 4 room flat but its cosy and warm lightings makes the whole house looks welcoming this year xmas, we can celebrate at ah yi house woohoo

Grant is learning to stand on his own without any support and he still has no confidence standing alone on the floor he always free his hand when he is on the bed now he feels so proud to stand without support and keep clapping for himself i dont know whether he is sleep walking at night when he will wake up and do the standing on his own waiting for us to clap for him when he sees no one is clapping, he drop back to sleep again haiz i dont know how many nights i have to go thru this this is making me very tired without proper sleep and wake up early morning

Today Grant has says: 'ma ma', 'mo mo' maybe he want to eat and wanted to say 'mum mum' but sometimes is ma ma with his bubbles coming out of his mouth hhahahaha this is really happy he wanted to say 'pa pa' too but with a F so sound like 'paf paf' soon he will call us

Wednesday night while everyone was asleep, we suddenly heard a loud thump Grant has fallen out of his cot the fence is just above his wasitline and we dont know how he can fall out of the cot now i have to pull up the fence whenever i put him in he is too dangerous but lucky that night he is not injuired we have put the mosqitoes net around the cot and when he fall down the net has caught him abit we were so shocked how he can climb out this is the most scary nights eversince his birth this year is not a good year for him last few weeks he has fallen down from the bed too i just turn my back to take the pampers while he is drinking milk on my bed, next moment he is on the floor crying im so terrifried but worst of all is when he is with MIL, he will always fall down they are too protective and keep pulling him which in turn make him knock even more when he is using so much forces when he knock on the floor, MIL will sayang him and beat the floor to make him stop crying saying that the ...

Today is the last episode of this drama '團員飯' Everyone has a happy ending except this old man whose wife has died while watching TV and he is eating packed food in void deck downstairs He has son and daughter but all has migrated to other countries and leaving them alone in Spore He bought 2 packet of rice. 1 for himself and the other packet is for his wife He cries while eating his 團員飯 with his dead wife and chat like his wife is beside him I feel so sad because i think of my dad He is alone at home and without anyone talking to him only waiting for us to go back every weekend to company him Have I made a mistake to move over here? Sometimes, I wish my parents were not divorced. Sometimes, I wish I have a happy family but sometimes, I know I have to face the fact that this is my family.

Today went to fetch dad and visit er gu As usual, roasted duck and meat for lunch delicious yummy yummy thats the only stall which don't have the smelly duck smell i love that roasted duck Location: Bedok South Ave 2 Forget what's the name already Okay, again, as usual, I'm the one who get ang bao from er gu because today only me and dad went as hong fen is at her friend house woohooo but this year, grant gets 2 ang bao, 1 from er gu and the other from er gu zhang i felt so bad that both lunch and dinner is paid by er gu even drinks are paid by them haiz.. how i wish i can treat them to a feast everytime they treat us and give us money to spend but we didnt give them anything its time to repay them back but at the moment is not by materials, its through actions and thoughts the only thing i can do is to bring dad go visit them as often as possible when one gets old, the most they fear is loneliness thats what i felt from er gu she everytime wants us to stay longer with her ...

This year, we plan to give out $200 ang bao and giving out ang bao is so fun though its not much but the kids are happy to received it I'm happy to receive Grant ang baos' too hahahhaa he gets alot than me and before CNY, we teach him to action 'gong xi gong xi' and everyone see him 'gong xi' is so happy he just cheer everyone up with his big bunny teeth and drooling mouth hahahhaa till now, he still cant stop drooling everyday i have to bring out many handkerchief to wipe his saliva but so long everyone is happy, he is happy but he is too heavy to be carry long have to passing turns to carry him now he don't want to be carried and want to walk on his own though he still holding on to furniture to walk some of wee cousin are around the same age with me and when i gave ang bao to them i feel so old the younger ones are ok but i hardly see anyone of them even during this CNY, because i've missed them on day 1 next year bah

除夕 Reunion dinner changed to lunch at Teck Whye because dad has cooked alot to pray and this year we decide to eat the praying food instead of steamboat. It's very quiet at Teck Whye ever since I've moved out. One of the room has rent out and the other room is renting out next month. But still, I'll go back once a week to let dad see Grant. At night come back Hougang to eat 'Pencai' which MIL has ordered from the restaurant and before 除夕, we have steamboat for dinner with wee brother and sister family. 初一 I bring Grant to wee grandma house at AMK in the morning and afternoon, we went to ah peh house for steamboat (as usual). This year steamboat only got 6 person. Me, dad, fenny, hong liang, ah peh and his wife. The cousin all not at home and after the steamboat, I bring Grant to Guilin view to visit mum. They are having drinking session at the BBQ pit table with their friends but no BBQ cos their friends brought alot of food. Roasted + white chicken, beehoon, mix ve...

Today, Grant is very unlucky morning when i put him on the floor and play, FIL came and wanted to carry him walk and while MIL is giving FIL the food to try, Grant has fall on his mouth causing his lips to be abit tear afternoon while i was studying, MIL carry him to her room and Grant has fall his forehead on the floor and a 'big bun' suddenly grow from his head it was so big and purplish color though it haven turned into blue black felt so sorry for him today he is not getting any good day since CNY maybe this year is a bad year for him or maybe i should have look after him myself

Just before CNY eve, i brought grant to cut hair and when it wasn't done to my satisfaction, i went home and cut it myself wanted to cut his hair short and instead i accidentally cut his ear thought its a small hole but it keep bleeding haiz .. I was so guilty about it I swear I will never cut his hair again with my butter hand

Starting from today, I have to write/type proper English for the preparation of my 'O' level examination. No more Singlish and short form. Even if it is a short post, I have to use proper vocabulary and sentences. I left 10 months to study for my 'O' level. I'm running out of time and I have only 2-3 hrs a day to study. Only when Grant has slept, then I can start my revision. I hope to be qualified for the teaching course next year. If not, this year is wasted. Still, I'll blog more when I have the time. Oh God, make me clever please!!

I was studying in AES for my 'O' level 10 years later, I am studying 'O' level on my own YES!! I'm taking 'O' level again something which I have been dragging for a long time every year i say to myself, I'm too old to take 'O' level until now, I'm really old to study but no choice, I want to take up teaching course and I have to get 5 credits I'm not aiming for all A1 but at least B3 I don't have the time like students where they can study whole day I need to take care of baby and do house chores the only time i can study is when baby sleep so at night i try to study more and go to sleep at 12am at least 1 day i can study 3 hours I'm taking 6 subjects in case i fail 1 subject but then, everything seem to be so distant to me cant really recap what is going 10 years ago

2 more weeks but nothing seems to be done for CNY no festive mood no festive tibits no festive clothes yet as usual, CNY is just an excuse for us to visit long lost friends or relatives whom we see once a year every year is the same give ang bao take ang bao i give out and people give grant i cant take ang bao anymore sob sob sob

Before stepping into 2nd day of 2009, here wishing all a Happy New Year with a smooth and healthy year ahead may those who are doin business, prosper with many wealth and earn big money let's welcome 2009 with a big HUGGGGG & KISSESSS MUACKSSS