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Time do change me

Jus now read Dolph blog and agree with him tat "TIME CHANGE EVERYTHING"

Well time really change everythin.. time can change a person personality, feelin, thinkin.. etc

still rem 3 yrs ago... i would write my diary at nite cos i really miss the time i had in sec.. sometimes hear Yes 933 and the song "xi shui chang liu"... i would feel very sour in my heart.. i would cry out my heart cos i miss the time with kitty & widia.. those carefree days were gone.. now burdens & responsibilities slowly come in my life and making me more stress... though its stress but i know this is part of life.. people got to learn thru some hard ways.. life is nvr a bed of roses and nvr will it happen to anyone..

thinkin of 5 yrs back.. i was still young.. still navie & innocent.. thinkin tat everyone would think like me.. wouldnt hurt anyone and lie to anyone.. TRUTH HURTS.. 5 yrs back.. me jus graduated from AES... well finally leave the sch and start workin.. didnt really get good marks and so cant get in poly.. but refused to get in ITE.. if i were to go in Dover ITE.. life wont be the same.. jus becos i cant get in the course i wanted which were same with Kendy.. and i reject the chance to study.. i dun regret it cos i'll nvr regret my choices..

i was still with Adrian.. and he was in Police NS.. year 2000.. he was posted out Clementi headquarters.. life was hard for him tat time.. cos we 2 had to survive on $240 each mth.. he had to eat bread everyday jus to let me live more comfortable.. i was lookin for a job at the beingin of the yr and until May i found a job.. i really got to thanks him so much for his love to me.. but things change when i found a job..

He met his sec classmate one day.. well meetin classmate is nothin.. but problem is they are chattin & sms each other every morn.. one morn he forget to divert his no back and were divert to mine no.. the ger called and looked for him.. i was very shocked and angry tat day..

I asked "do you have to call & chat with her everday?"

He said "we are buddy mah.. chattin is nothin"

I asked "where got buddy chat everyday?"

He didnt ans me and i didnt asked any further..

Days passed and almost everyday we would quarrel abt this matter.. i still rem the nite when we were on the way to Kendy hse.. we quarrel about this issue again.. we both were angry and really on the heat...suddenly i asked him to stop at the bus stop.. well he really did stop and i get down and bang his car door.. it was 12am and frds were still waitin for us.. but me jus had no mood to meet up.. so he went there and i was alone at the bus stop.. immediately called Rudy to meet up.. he was there for me whenever im down.. he straight away come down to Bt Panjang from woodlands.. drive me to somewhere where i can relax.. tat nite we didnt talk much.. he was jus there by my side..

Are we too young to handle things tat time?

OR

Am i really too possessive and young to understand the meaning of freedom??

OR

Mayb i love him too much and caused me to become like this..

All the while we have nvr mention the thoughts of break up... cos its was nvr in our mind.. and nvr in my mind... i was jus there to hope tat he would change and everythin would go back to the same... but now.. if things were to happen again.. i would nvr hope again.. nvr hope he would change cos i would nvr want him anymore..

Y can i be so navie in the past but now im being so selfish?? y cant i be more forgivin like last time.. if things were to change then i hope this forgivin character would nvr change..

Being hurted too much had made me immune to many things.. not able to put all my feelin into relations.. not bein able to be more considerate to other people feelin..

Time do change my character, my thinkin and the way i am.. though im more mature than last time but i cant be happy like last time.. days of the golden times are gone.. wats gone will nvr come back..

Am i really sleepin or Am i tryin to act asleep? my mind seem to be in daze lately.. not becos of the break up.. cos of somethin which i really dunno wat makes me in a daze.. is it a blessin to be ignorant?

Can i still be forgivin like before?

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