Love . Trust . Appreciate .

Jus now read Dolph blog and agree with him tat "TIME CHANGE EVERYTHING" Well time really change everythin.. time can change a person personality, feelin, thinkin.. etc still rem 3 yrs ago... i would write my diary at nite cos i really miss the time i had in sec.. sometimes hear Yes 933 and the song "xi shui chang liu"... i would feel very sour in my heart.. i would cry out my heart cos i miss the time with kitty & widia.. those carefree days were gone.. now burdens & responsibilities slowly come in my life and making me more stress... though its stress but i know this is part of life.. people got to learn thru some hard ways.. life is nvr a bed of roses and nvr will it happen to anyone.. thinkin of 5 yrs back.. i was still young.. still navie & innocent.. thinkin tat everyone would think like me.. wouldnt hurt anyone and lie to anyone.. TRUTH HURTS.. 5 yrs back.. me jus graduated from AES... well finally leave the sch and start workin.. didnt really get ...

This morn been feelin weird and down.. dunno wat happen to me.. think shld be my PMS bah.. damn mense.. everytime make me tired and pek chek.. haizz y must woman be so "ke lian"?? didnt feel good this few days.. weather aint good either.. its time for me to stay at home rest and go out less often.. been spendin too much money lately and spend like water fall.. cowz.. few days spend $300 liao.. damn it.. really got to control myself sometimes.. last nite went to Guilin for dinner.. meet Ren at Redhill mrt and went down together... as usual.. late again.. but still haven start dinner.. heng ar.. reach mum place was very hungry le.. faster lay the table and have our dinner.. eat until very full and stomach very big hahahaha... still have the guava which mum had marinated with sour plum.. yummy yummy.. still wanna eat but very full le.. Me as damn tired last nite and went home at 9+.. ren send june home then we went home sleep le.. but reach home still chat in msn awhile and tida...

Last nite was supposed to meet zhenny at west mall for dinner but somethin crops up and meet da instead.. we went to sakae sushi and eat until very full.. had salmon sashimi, ebi tempura, miso soup, fried tofu, soft shell crabs etc... all our favourite.. yummy yummmy... so long didnt eat salmon le.. wowowooww nice dinner... after dinner walk around west mall.. bought a Givenchy Irrestible perfume and it smell so nice.. wowowo i like this perfume.. last nite i try and it smell good.. but this morn put it on and now smell not the same.. wat is happenin?? OMG.. After dinner da meetin Tom (pub 7 manager whom is same age as me) at NTUC Club beside lot 1.. then we went to lot 1 walk but didnt really walk.. then me went home to bath and change into more casual fittin.. lucky hor fun still at home when i call him.. ask him to come drive me and me faster bath and prepare le.. wowowowo.. both of us dunno tat NTUC club had moved to the buildin beside lot 1 and still went up to lot 1 3rd floor... ...

Me really tired of thinkin so many things.. everytime have to consider people feelin and its like so restricted.. its not that i dun like but sometimes i have to consider you and yours feelin.. im jus like being squeeze in between.. sometimes i really dunno wat i shld do or who i shld choose.. though i have the ans in my heart but still its hard to let go the another party.. Mayb ur appearance had made me confused and somehow my life has been mix up.. i know we cant be together due to many barriers but i still hope i can be in ur heart even when u find someone new.. i promise to keep u somewhere around me.. somewhere where i can still see u.. though image might be vivid in future but u will always be there.. you asked me "am i stupid to let u go?" i said "no"... though u might be sufferin in pain now.. but at least u will be happy in future.. u got to choose one person in ur life.. no man can have 2 wife.. i jus wan u to be happy at home and i dun wan to see u stres...

Last nite went for dinner at Gombak "zhu cao" with mum, uncle, zhenny & bao bei... well me and zhenny treat them cos dun wan mum always cook for us.. but before going for dinner.. my lunch was with bao bei.. when i saw him he was very sad.. cos he said i hurt him and let him think of me.. hahahahhaa OMG.. hey bao bei.. me didnt mean to let u feel sad.. bleh.. anywhere after dinner, went home bath and zhenny online.. again.. and bao bei watch tv.. after i have done all my things, we went to lot 1 kbox to sing.. yippppezzzz... from 930pm sing until 1240am... wowowowow well practically its me who are the one who keep singin and zhenny cant find any songs she wans cos not much english songs for her to sing.. and bao bei oso got sing but very few songs lei... next time must sing more ok.. *muack muack* sing until very tired and faster went home le.. but somethin happen when i sang SHE "Lonely".. haizz me didnt think much for zhenny and when i sing tat song she wanted...

Today i'm really very confused.. really dunno wat i wan and how i shld do.. i wanted to continue but really scare of hurting you and gettin myself hurt... well u can say i'm selfish.. but i know i cant promise u any future yet.. and i dun wan to promise u somethin which i cant do it.. Sometimes i dun really understand my feelin and it will be real hard even for u to understand me.. i mayb feelin good now but later i will be feelin real down.. i really scare of hurtin u sometimes.. i wanted to let myself fall onto u oso but i dun have the courage yet.. Time will let me cool myself down... and i hope i didnt hurt u too deep this time.. let time do the magic...

23 April 2005 wanted to go home sleep on sat noon... but went shoppin with zhenny at causeway point and didnt really buy anythin.. haizz sian.. bought shampoo and conditioner only.. nothin much to buy oso.. shop until very tired and went to bread talk to buy some bread home.. zhenny come back teck whye for internet again hahahaha.. then reach home around 5pm.. super tired and lie on bed for awhile.. wanted to meet Ren at Guilin but in the end too tired to get up and by the time i call him, he's on the way so come teck whye and meet us to go guilin together.. went to guilin for a swim and a swim is 2 hours.. OMG.. swim until my skin all crumbled.. after swimmin went to steam bath and was really nice cos i sweat alot during the steam bath.. makin my face more clean.. was very hungry after swimmin and went to Hill view Alameen for dinner... me, zhenny & ren... after dinner went to hillview pub 7... had a big surprise tat nite.. cos met calvin, felicia & sheng da there.. didnt ...

Sorry gers.. these few days been bz with the course and of my Ren la.. i know u both tryin to find me and now im back to work le.. *yawn*.. anywhere next time wanna find me then call me la.. dun wait till i online then find me hor... Well went for the Personal Effectiveness course and didnt really learn somethin from it.. mayb i will summarise and pass it to June.. hor.. this is really good for ownself cos u get to know urself better.. Last nite went to lot 1 kbox with pinky and we 2 ppl only.. but its ok cos we got all the chances to sing hahahaha.. sing from, 10pm to 1230am... still not enough lei.. didnt really sing much and didnt really sing the songs i wan.. suppose to meet sheng da & chen for supper but chen fall asleep le and thats y didnt go out eat.. anywhere me not hungry so didnt meet da for supper too.. haizz but this morn wake up and sore throat le.. mayb smoke too much and didnt drink enough water... yesterdae was damn tired.. after ktv went home sleep le.. and this m...

Last nite being tricked to JB by Pinky... ask me to go in JB and i tot wah so good sia.. still ask me go in have dinner.. so she ask me to wait at Kranji MRT bus stop.. then i tot ok.. since Anderson will be coming to fetch us.. so pinky went back to take my passport and going to meet me at Kranji.. zhenny sms me when me at gombak so wait for her and go together to meet pinky.. My morale was damn low and super sian when she told me we have to take bus to JB.. wah i was very tired liao.. and somemore still have to squeeze with those old lechers.. damn it.. eeekkkk i hate it when man stand close to me.. phew.. anywhere went in and took a cab to Holiday plaza.. a trip down to plaza there still need RM 12.. stupid uncle still drive 1 big round to plaza there.. and somemore not happy with us for informin his car plate no. to anderson.. this is jus in case and its safer to inform him rather than no news.. then uncle keep showin us face and say alot of craps.. reach there and was very hungry ...

Suddenly i felt all is too sudden for me... i dun really like it fast and this time its really too fast for me.. i still cant accept the fact that im in a relations again when the break up happens 1 mth ago.. im really scare of steppin into another unknow relations... the impact of the hurt and pain i had seem like yesterdae.. i keep askin myself.. "do i really have to step in again? will i be hurt again?" y must i always be so rush in relations?? aint im afraid of being hurt again? Life jus got to make choices.. sometimes i might not make the right choice but since its my choice then i jus have to accept the route i got to take... sometimes i wish i can jus stop at a junction where i can dun move cos if i dun move then i wont have to make any choices.. Im really scare of droppin to the ground real hard.. though i know it wont be as hard as last time.. still the chances of droppin is there.. i know nothin can be predicted.. nothin is absolute.. all i need is time.. (i hope u ...

OMG.. these 2 days been feelin real damn tired cos really due to insufficient sleep.. wed nite went to west mall eat KFC with zhenny & fenny.. yeah bought a new pillow & bloster at Tom & Steffanie.. but still not using yet cos have to get rid of the smell of the cotton as its really stink.. so jus leave it aside.. After all the walkin and nothin interest us at West mall then went back home.. wanted to rest early but when i reach home.. Mr Hor Fun called and ask me out for drink at Rail Mall Bojangles.. then i asked ah dolph go along too.. dolph intro 1 new frd, Alex, to us... his camp mate.. had a pint of Kilkenny cos hor fun treat me drink.. somemore he order pizza too.. Finally time to go home sleep... but hor fun said dun wan to go home so went down to Loyang and pray.. reach there around 12am le.. not much ppl that nite and very fast pray finish.. surprise to see Pinky there with Anderson & his mum.. they all come down to pray and went back to Serangoon.. Reach home...

Last nite had a wonderful dinner at mum hse and its wonderful becos of everythin is smooth... jus a simple dinner and chit chat... me & june went down to AMK to fetch Ren cos he dunno how to go from there... meet up and faster rush down to Guilin.. by the time we reach there mum jus nice cooked finish the dinner... yummy yummy... mum cooked curry chicken (OMG droolin now), onion eggs, long beans with sambal, kangkong & 1 weird dish dunno call wat.. planning to go joggin at nite but stupid da not free and didnt go le.. zhenny went home with me cos i ask her to sleep with me and reach home hungry again.. went downstair with zhenny & ah di to eat the fries & "wu xiang".. yummy.. eat until very full and went back home.. faster bath and on the phone liao.. last nite sleep at 3am cos zhenny come back and talk with her for awhile and somemore she watch the tv show.. accompany her watch abit then sleep le.. too tired to hear the sound & lift up my eyes to watch.. ...

last nite wanted to go Kbox at parklane as ah dolph called and ask me to join.. haizz wanted to join but when i reach bus stop waited for so long and somemore very late le... then return back home.. lucky me didnt go if not today mc liao.. last nite sleep at 1230am after chattin with june & anselm.. eyes cannot tahan le and faster off and sleep... today still feelin tired and no chance to sleep.. well guess who i had my lunch with?? someone who is taller than me.. older than me.. haahhah today wear handsome handsome come have lunch with me hahahahaa... he's so funny.. somethin interestin happened.. *opps... yeah later june coming to Tg Pagar to fetch me.. yippezz.. so long didnt come fetch me le.. today she going to donate blood at Outram and after work we going to mum house to have dinner.. woowowowow... hungry hungry hungry... its hungry time...

Yipppezzz... me got a nice weekend at home and as well as with my family & friends.. gonna thanks Jack for driving me on sat to lot 1 but thanks alot of sendin me home to change b4 headin down to lot 1 to meet kitty... and sorry to let kitty waited so long.. dun mean to be late but me jus too hot and got to go home change.. Had a nice lunch at lot 1 but well somethin crops up... hmm hey kitty hope u not angry the Ren hor.. he didnt mean to comment anythin.. dun take it to heart ar.. anywhere after lunch head down to mum hse with june as she is going "fo tang" at bt batok.. and only to know tat they have all gone to "qian hu" to see the fishes le... but luckily uncle still at home.. if not really had to wait downstair for them cos i didnt bring any keys.. sat nite dinner was at Labrator park cos we havin a mini picnic there.. mum cook bee hoon and hotdog only.. without any curry sauce cos too rush le.. this time round we had 4th auntie, angeline & ah di with ...

Yesterdae didnt update any cos blogger keep havin fault and cant post my entries.. damn it.. i wrote 2 times and jus dissappear... haiz make me pek chek only... anywhere nothin much to write oso... *yawn*.. jus wan to thanks June for accompany me to Causeway Point on thur.. Last nite dinner was boring cos its all awards nite.. but it wasnt borin with Ren.. jus tat the dinner sucks.. dun really like the food.. mayb too cold le.. aiyo yo.. really very cold and keep drinkin the tea and warm water then keep going to ladies.. OMG.. shangri la is too rich to save on air con le.. makin me damn cold and have to trouble Ren to accompany me go outside where it is not so cold.. but once inside the ballroom... me cold again.. arghhh Finally dinner ends at 1130pm.. they havin lucky draw for the nite and guess wat the 1st prize is?? its a ROLEX WATCH... wahahahhaa if i get the prize then i can sell it and do wat i wan le.. hahahahahaha... haizz but no luck for me and Ren.. both of us got 2 chances b...

Yippezzz... gettin excited about the dinner at Shangri-la with Ren... but not only him alone.. its a dinner with alot of ppl hahahahhaa... its his company D&D and he had invited me to a free dinner with free gifts hahahaha... Last nite meet June at West mall and had 2 pcs chicken meal and its a treat from june.. thanks june.. wwowowowo I LOVE KFC... I LOVE KFC... I LOVE KFC.. okok well bought 2 dress for tml dinner.. a tube dress & a spageti dress.. well i quite like the tube dress but hopefully my mense wont be comin tml if not i had to wear the spageti dress le.. anywhere both are nice hahahhaa i like both.. Here got to thanks JUNE for accompany me to buy the dress hahahaha.. well we meet at West mall and shift to Jurong point cos there got more choices for us too.. but june dun mind oso hor.. hahaha anywhere u not working now oso... me help u exercise ur leg.. hahahahahha okok A VERY BIG THANKS TO JUNE AKA LIPING!! yeah yeah Tonight going to Causeway point... buy somethin ...

Its been 19 days since i last saw u... life without u can be lonely but again more relax as i dun have to think so much but then again... still curious to know wat is going around you... but i have tried not to think so much cos i know u are jus not worth it.. friends may we be but still i hate u for leavin me.. u are the 1st to hurt me and say all those rubbish to me.. Mayb in future i will be grateful to u for ur heartless cos i will definitely have a better man in my life.. i may be livin a zombie life now but soon... a rainbow will come... fetch me to another world with him.. a dream world which i always wanted... The laughter we had and tears we shed will always be in my mind.. i promise to keep u around me but right now... u still have most of my heart... i hope one day, i can keep u somewhere around me.. place where i can still see u..

Yippezzzz... get a new hair color last nite and i look so fresh today.. so happy.. hahahhaaa... wanted to cut only but see my hair color so sian then ask him to dye red for me.. nvr try red b4 and well i quite like the results... makes me more white but i hope not pale.. spend 3 hrs in the saloon last nite and reach home so tired le.. *yawn* Damn it... this morn MRT is so squeezin... and those bloody man... so cramp le and still wan to move in to suana together... still stand so near to me... make me pek chek only.. stupid man.. i really hate taking mrt to work lately.. everyday so squeeze & have to suffocate in those smelly perfume.. wah cowz.. wish i can drive to work in future or better stay at home look after my family needs... hahahaha a tai tai... hahahahhahaa... must work hard for my tai tai dreams... yeah yeah... Tonight going to meet June at West Mall for dinner.. hey june u are the 1st to see my new hairdo hahahahhaa...

Last nite accompany randolph to see the chinese physican at chinatown.. though i was tired but he hurt his wrist very long and the uncle is very good.. but very pain.. last nite go let him rub then dolph wrist better liao.. only 20 bucks... after chinatown went to hillview alameen with zurah to drink tea.. then reach home straight away sleep liao... This morn very pek chek cos of those workin class woman with those highly overpower perfume filled the cabin.. somemore this stupid man standin beside me tryin to read the woman newspaper whom is on my side.. keep lookin over to my side and i no space liao still keep comin over... really wan to slap him.. damn him.. Today still not enough sleep.. so sleepy now.. jus wan to go home sleep now.. dun feel like workin le.. dunno y so tired lately... haizz scare my mense wan to come again... jia liat.. stupid mense.. Hey gers.. this sat meetin Ren for lunch at lot 1... same time 145pm.. i will confirm with u gers again.. hope to let u all meet.. ...

Sat had a rush noon.. reach home and plan to bath for doggy but fen and mum they all wan to go lot 1 buy things for the BBQ at nite.. so faster bath and went downstair to wait for them.. Reach mum place and sleep for awhile cos very tired due to insomia.. when all prepared, went down to the pit at 7pm to start the fire... whahahhaha of cos its not me to do this... fen and zhen do the fire starting then i carry some things down only.. Most of my cousins, aunties & uncles came for the bbq... and took many pics cos big uncle going to China "Ching Ming" our ancestor... after he come back then we will pray in spore.. After bbq went to meet kitty and calvin for tea sessions at west coast... reach there around 12am le.. then me order a English Breakfast tea & kitty had the usual Black Current tea & calvin try the Himalya tea (ice)... thanks kitty & cal to keep me company that day... sorry for takin up ur time... and nice to meet up with ur bikers frds too.. not i dun...

Last nite went to jurong point have dinner at mac with june, kitty & calvin.. its was a dinner b4 calvin frd bbq at boon lay.. was very full after the happy meals which me and kitty order and calvin had a fish meal... Yeah me oso bought a shirt for 16.90 bucks last nite at Jenefer... cos the previous shirt i wear is too inapproriate for the bbq when it has so many guys.. so better change.. Reach the calvin place and still blur blur of where he stay... then i ask for toilet... and tot he bringing me to the public toilet so went with him and so surprise that he bring us to his house toilet which his house is on the 1st floor.. His house is like those kampong style... very long didnt get to see this style le.. After bbq then took mrt home with june and reach home faster go bang sai.. wah so urgent.. hahahha cos have been bearin since 8+... so tiring... faster do all my things liao then suddenly received 2 sms and 2 missed call.. 2 missed call from Randolp cos he asked me to go Chervon...