Sometimes,
not sometimes, is all the time, music plays a very important part on my mood. Song
which can affect my mood while listening reminds me of the things I have done
when I heard the song.
Song I heard
during my secondary school times, dating times, first love, ex’s bf memories,
girls time, beach time, travelling time, party time and until now I still have
song which makes me think of the present.
Music can
be a therapy or wake up memories to me.
Sometimes I
heard song that I and wee sing last time and think of the time when we first
met during the 1st year. Those were the days when we are happy. The first
half year was wonderful. We both like to travel and play and love freedom.
When we
have our kids, things start to change. We felt tied and everything just comes. Something
is binding us tightly which makes us hard to breathe. No money to go travel and
everything is about money. Kids, house, daily meal. I cant get confirm on my
job as I was pregnant with Grant and after giving birth I stop work for
16months. Once Grant was 16 months I sent him to childcare and I myself get a
job and support myself and kids.
Everything
just automatic falls on me. All the expenses and bills is on-going till now. 5
years has happened a lot of things. I have become more moody and because of
money, every month I have to save and cannot go shopping. Wee stop giving me
money since I started working. He supports his car and himself. All these years
we stayed at his parents house and they think we are using them and did not pay
anything to them. i am not able to shop like other people where they can buy
what they like.
All these
years I had enough. I am going thru the spending period and these few months
with the shopping online has made me use the credit card and I usually will
clear all before month end but now I have shopped over limits for the month and
I don’t care anymore. No more savings. Buy what I like and pamper myself.
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