Love . Trust . Appreciate .

He just left for redang and leaving me and grant at home eversince we are together, we have never part for more than a day and this time, he is leaving me and grant for 5days 5nights its time for me to quiet down i miss the sun and sea at redang and the carefree life which we used to enjoy doing nothing by the sea makes us relax and stress-free enjoying everyday, watching the sea, sleeping on the beach now everyday at home looking after grant really makes me tired and restless i dun have time to do my things if im alone at home taking care of him and making things worse is when i dun have time to eat wish i can go out work asap

Im really tired from pumping milk tired when every 3 hours i have to pump, tired when engorement come when im outside, tired when the milk cant be pump finish, tired when the duct is block and massage & cold turkey doesnt help pregnancy isnt the worst after birth is the starting of the nightmare ever since im discharge from hospital, i have to wake up every 3hrs and each day, i sleep less than 6hrs and which is why my black eye is getting darker im lucky to have mum look after grant in the noon where i can catch some sleep if not im really turning into a panda i dunno how long i can endure to breastfeed im so scare to have breast infection when the duct is not unblock initially im still hoping i can feed for 6mths but now, i dunno how

Now is the sensitive period for motherhood cos hormones changes and mood swing is unpredictable well crying spell is in the party too some expert refer the 1st 3mths the fourth trimester which can be really true cos with all the challenges, emotions and most importantly, the human some people take the words seriously but the one who said it out doesn't mean anything its all in the mind i hope i can pass this fourth trimester asap cos all i want now is to get better so that i can do more things and be more healthy i felt so sick and tired of being unwell and with such wound on me, emotion get worse pray for my wounds to heal asap

He has finally arrived on 12 Mar and i have contraction for 26hours before he is out my contraction start on 11 Mar 4am and he arrived on 12 Mar 6am by caesarean and its a last min operation cos he poo poo inside and its dangerous if natural birth for he might get lung infection since he cant get lung infection, so i have to suffer by getting infection on my wounds and since the operation, its been 3 weeks and now my wounds have opened and due to this infection, i have spend an extra 1k for this treatment its really waste of money and time cos i have to go for dressing at the clinic and each visit is 80bucks and well if the doc think im printing cash then he is super wrong and in the end i have to go to polyclinic for dressing which cost less than 10bucks for each dressing so why should i waste my money to go such a far away place and expensive treatment whereas polyclinic can provide the same treatment i should have go earlier and not waste so much money haiz... what to do but so long...